Woman’s Rant on Photoshopped Models Postponed; Can’t Find Spanx

Woman’s Rant on Photoshopped Models Postponed; Can’t Find Spanx

Disgusted and outraged at the idea that photos of models are Photoshopped to make the woman appear thinner, bustier, and more youthful, Barb Wheeler plans to voice her opinion at a friend’s upcoming party for The Bachelor finale.Continue Reading

Breaking Mad: Breaking Bad/Mad Men Crossover on the Way

Breaking Mad: Breaking Bad/Mad Men Crossover on the Way

It sounds so far fetched, so crazy, and so stupid that it just might work. Warning, Breaking Bad spoilers below With AMC’s wildly popular show, Breaking Bad, wrapping up recently, and Mad Men set to enter its final season, AMC’s writers are working feverishly to replace the two shows without losing their audiences. The solution:Continue Reading

Miley Cyrus Undergoes Exorcism Following MTV VMAs

Miley Cyrus Undergoes Exorcism Following MTV VMAs

While her family has argued about whether her actions were demon-like or merely just a bout of Twerking Gene Simmons disease, they agreed an exorcism was the best course of action. Continue Reading

He-Man Not a Master of the Universe, Merely Has Bachelor’s Degree

He-Man Not a Master of the Universe, Merely Has Bachelor’s Degree

Castle Grayskull, ETERNIA – It appears, He-Man, the man everyone assumed to be a Master of the Universe never actually finished grad school. “Guys, gimme a break. I mean, It’s not a complete lie, I finished the course work, but never got around to completing my thesis,” exclaimed He-Man, back peddling nervously amongst a seaContinue Reading

Doctor Stripped of License After Misdiagnosing Cancer as a Case of the Mondays

Doctor Stripped of License After Misdiagnosing Cancer as a Case of the Mondays

AURORA, Illinois – Dr. Arnold Schneider was stripped of his medical license after misdiagnosing lung cancer as a case of the Mondays. When long time patient Darlene Hammond went to Dr. Schneider complaining of tightness in her chest, shortness of breath, and repeated bouts of bronchitis, Dr. Schneider chuckled and told her to “quit herContinue Reading

Tour de France Leader Refuses to Wear Yellow Jersey: “Pat on the Back Will Suffice”

Tour de France Leader Refuses to Wear Yellow Jersey: “Pat on the Back Will Suffice”

Montpellier, FRANCE – Australia’s Daryl Impey, the current leader after 6 stages of the Tour de France, refuses to wear the coveted Yellow Jersey. After obtaining the lead following a grueling ride from Aix-en-Provence to Montpellier, he was handed the dripping wet yellow jersey from Orica Greenedge teammate Simon Gerrans. “Really?” He asked, taking theContinue Reading

Gallup Poll: 32% of Americans Think Independence Day is Honoring the 1996 Will Smith Movie

Gallup Poll: 32% of Americans Think Independence Day is Honoring the 1996 Will Smith Movie

A recent Gallup poll, asking American citizens why they celebrate the 4th of July, has revealed that a whopping 32% thought it was to honor the 1996 blockbuster Will Smith movie, Independence Day. In this film aliens invade, Will Smith kicks alien ass, the end. This alien ass-kicking, of course, occurs on July 4th. IndependenceContinue Reading

NFLer Aaron Hernandez Attempts to Fool Police by Pretending Not to Have Arms

NFLer Aaron Hernandez Attempts to Fool Police by Pretending Not to Have Arms

ATTLEBORO, MASSACHUSETTS – New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was arrested and charged with the murder of semi-pro football player Odin Lloyd today. In an attempt to fool police officers, Hernandez deftly tucked his arms into the sleeves of his white t-shirt and claimed there was no way he could be the murderer, becauseContinue Reading

Blackhawks Use Picture of Crying Marchand as Motivation to Win Cup

Blackhawks Use Picture of Crying Marchand as Motivation to Win Cup

Just one day after the Chicago Blackhawks defeated the Boston Bruins in a dramatic game 6 finish to win the 2013 Stanley Cup, rumors are circulating about the Blackhawks unorthodox means of getting motivated. Rumor has it, the Blackhawks had a life-sized picture of super pest, Brad Marchand, crying, posted on the dressing room wall.Continue Reading

iPhones Give You Hemorrhoids

iPhones Give You Hemorrhoids

I bet the title of this article has Apple fan boys angry and Apple haters licking their chops at the opportunity to arm themselves with anti-Apple ammo. Truth is, all smartphones can lead you down the path to butt hurt, but putting “iPhone” in the title has a way of grabbing more attention and thisContinue Reading

What Ever Happened to Rebecca Black?

What Ever Happened to Rebecca Black?

The first time we heard the auto-tuned awfulness of “Friday” and tortured our eyes with the amateur music video, we knew it was only a matter of time before we’d be asking, what ever happened to Rebecca Black?Continue Reading

Everyone Pees in the Shower

My friend threw out the most outlandish claim ever, “Everyone pees in the shower, ” he said. Not some people or most people, but EVERYONE pees in the shower.Continue Reading

An Airtight Argument Against Stricter Gun Laws in the USA

An Airtight Argument Against Stricter Gun Laws in the USA

The US is often criticized, from both outside and within the country, for having lax laws and attitudes towards guns. When in other countries, children are learning to walk or speak, many young American children are proudly learning to fire guns. Owning and learning to fire a gun is a rite of passage in America.Continue Reading

Getting a Parcel from a Twitter Friend: The Australian Care Package

Getting a Parcel from a Twitter Friend: The Australian Care Package

Imagine receiving a package from another country. A package filled with magical items exclusive only to that country. Imagine receiving this package from someone you’ve never actually met in person. Those who are paranoid might see this as a recipe for disaster, but for me, this was a recipe for awesome. This is the AustralianContinue Reading

Pope Benedict XVI Resigns to Devote More Time to World of Warcraft

Pope Benedict XVI Resigns to Devote More Time to World of Warcraft

The 265th Pope has resigned. Early reports claimed the Pope, Benedict XVI, stepped down from the position for health reasons, but the Ex-Pope was quick to dispel these rumors. “When I said resigning for health reasons, I meant the health of my level 47 Death Knight in WoW. The little dude is getting pwned onContinue Reading

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