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While I waited outside of the Skydome (aka Rogers Centre) yesterday to watch the Blue Jays face the division rival New York Yankees, I threw my hands up in the air (as I’m known to do sometimes) and I said, “A. O. Gotta let go,” and then I stated, with no shortage of gusto, “I wanna celebrate and live my life,” and then added, “A.O. Baby, let’s go.” A beat seemed to rise from the streets, a mic was thrust into my hands, a crowd surrounded me, and I sang dammit, oh and we danced, oh yes. It was a moment only Ferris Bueller (or maybe Parker Lewis) could have pulled off. That’s how I remember it anyway.

The story you might hear from others (all hogwash), was that a man in low cut red shorts, white tank top, yellow headband and a beautiful fake mustache with a brief speech, grabbed the attention of the crowd. Behind him, from a white van parked next to the curb, music began to play. The song was Taio Cruz’s Dynamite. A choreographed dance ensued. Choose which version you want to believe.

These Flash Mobs are a truly a great idea and a lot of fun to randomly witness. I can’t imagine anyone not enjoying a group of people dancing in a public setting with no other reason than to entertain and surprise others. So if anyone from that Flash Mob reads this, thanks a lot. You rock. Also, I’d also like you to pay attention at 1:21 of this video, because you can see the greatest jacket on the planet belonging to the gentleman in the black cap in the foreground.

In case you’re curious, here’s how the ballgame played out: Yankees, fired up from the pregame dance party take a 1st inning 1-0 lead. In the 3rd inning, Blue Jay, Jose Bautista spanks league leading 39th homerun, back-flips around the bases, Jays lead 2-1. Jays’ pitcher Morrow fans 12 over 6 innings and the game is tied 2-2 when he decides he might as well go for a soda, so of course he leaves immediately. Later on, a Yankees pitcher, obviously upset Bautista can hit a ball really really really far, decides to try and take off Jose’s head with a fastball. Tempers flare, words and recipes are exchanged, benches and bullpens clear (as seen below), and at this point I expect a white van to pull up on the field, Dynamite to start playing, and the two teams to start dancing, but unfortunately, it was not to be.

In the 8th inning, a choreographed dance deprived Bautista, gets another at bat and kabooms another homerun into left field giving the Jays a 3-2 lead and eventually, a victory on a beautiful, dance filled night.

While reliving childhood memories of Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out, I made a startling discovery I’m certain a few of you must have come across before.  Jerome “Doc” Louis, Little Mac’s Trainer, looks exactly like the dad from Family Matters, Carl Winslow (also known in real life as actor Reginald VelJohnson).

Fan Fiction?
Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out was released in 1987 on the Nintendo Entertainment System, where Doc helped underdog,  Little Mac, fight through the ranks of the professional boxing circuit. After the defeat of Mike Tyson, Little Mac no longer needed his trainer, and thus, 2 years later, Jerome Louis resurfaced under the pseudonym, Carl Winslow and focused himself squarely on family matters.  In 2009, after years of torture from Steve Erkel, Louis returned to the Nintendo Wii not only to train Little Mac again, but to see if he could beat him. Doc’s secret weapon? Leopard print. Not since Ivan Drago and Rocky duked it out in Russia has there been such a great match up. Watch the fight below.

Oh Steven, I know you might be under the impression you’re above the law, but shooting children simply because they’re not hard to kill is neither funny nor beneficial to your career, which, by the way, is already constantly under siege by critics, but don’t worry my friend, I still think you’re the best and I’m sure these kids were up to no good and you were simply out for justice as usual. Most actors would agree that there was a time in his career where taking a questionable role put him under siege 2 err too. Just don’t be surprised when you’re marked for death by some of these children’s parents, Mr. Glimmer Man. By the way Steve, the exit wounds in this clip are pretty graphic and I think you’d best make an executive decision not to blow the lunch meat out of anyone under 18 in your movies anymore.

Was that cheesy? You bet. But cheese and Steven Seagal go hand in hand. By the way, this isn’t completely out of left field, it’s about this cleverly edited video I saw on YouTube, which is embedded below. Remember everyone, it’s just ketchup. No children were harmed in the making of this film.

Heads up: If you’re not someone who finds humor in morbid or dark comedy this clip is not for you.

Now, you shouldn’t need six reasons to go to Toronto’s Beer Festival when it’s a festival dedicated to drinking beer. Beerfest hosts 100s, if not millions of international and local breweries who want to get you drunk off your ass and have their way with you. On top of that, there are plenty of great food vendors and music acts, but those are the obvious reasons. Here are 6 more not so obvious reasons you shouldn’t miss Toronto’s Annual Beer Festival.

REASON #6: THIS GUY IS AWESOME! (Ignore my awful camera work, please. I had a couple-few beers).

This will be the best thing you see today unless, that is, you’re lucky enough to see me bending over to pick something up, and your view is from the rear, because then, and only then will you see something better than this video today. Seriously though, if you don’t like Ferris Bueller OR Fight Club I’m not sure I know you or want to know you. If you haven’t seen one or the other, see them. They’re classic. Especially Fight Club. I think it’s my favorite movie. Mind blowing. I’d argue it’s better than the novel, and I love Chuck Palahniuk. Director of Fight Club, David Fincher is the shit. I saw the link to this video on the Chuck Palahniuk Facebook page and it made my day times one billion. So I hope this can turn your crappy day around, or make your good day better, because this, my friends, is a bee-oot.

If you’re digging this and want to read more, you can see the article that inspired it here.

Look out Björk! There’s audio out there that might be more mentally disturbing than your last album. A colleague of mine (thanks Arjun) just introduced me to a new drug craze sweeping high schools in the US. What are these Twilight watching, Miley Cyrus listening kids up to now, you ask? Well, this drug isn’t smoked, snorted, or injected. It’s digital and it’s called i-Dosing. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s basically drugs in audio form. The idea is, you listen to specific i-Dosing tracks with headphones, while lying down, calm, and not moving and eventually it will cause some effects in the user (listener) similar to those experienced under the influence of marijuana, cocaine, opium, etc. You use your iPod to listen to these tracks, thus it’s named i-Dosing. While I’m yet to actually try i-Dosing, and like most people am skeptical, I will reserve most of my criticism towards it and teenage culture until I can verify the idiocy of this new fad. Who knows, it could work and I might find myself wearing a bib and sitting down to a plate of my own words.

Obviously, parents are a little worried right now that i-Dosing may be a gateway into some more serious drugs, but I’m a little more concerned that listening to Justin Bieber is a gateway into more serious drugs. It’s Devil’s music I tell ya. Devil’s music.

Kids and teenagers are quite malleable and I remember when I was in Elementary school seeing kids getting high on crushed Rockets because they thought it was cocaine. Tell a kid something will get them high and they’re bound to try and believe it. Again, I’m not saying this is the case with i-Dosing, but merely suggesting it. As you may or may not know, the world is full of stupid people.

So where can you get these tracks and what do they sound like? Well, there is one circulating on YouTube right now, which I’ll include below (make sure to use headphones. It sounds completely different if you don’t use them). The video page also includes a link to a full version of the track if you need some plans for the weekend and your wallet is a little thin on funds. I’ve also embedded a clip of a kid getting i-Dosing.

I’m sure drug dealers everywhere are crossing their fingers waiting for this fad to die out. Looks like there’s more than just TV, videogames and death metal music warping the minds of children these days. What a strange world we live in.

If you’ve tried i-Dosing, please let me know what your experience was like.




A kid i-Dosing to Gates of Hades track

I haven’t been updating the website recently. Why? I dunno. Laziness, busyness, a two week bout with explosive diarrhea? Take your pick. They might all be true.

It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m pretty excited about it. I like having people celebrate my ability to survive yet another year. How do I do it? I don’t run into traffic and I haven’t contracted a fatal disease. Those two things are key in mastering the art of survival. But heck, if you’re reading this, you’re still surviving too. Good on ya. Got any tips on dodging the Grim Reaper you’d like to share?

Anyway, tomorrow, on June 11th, be sure to celebrate my continuing immortality.  I enter the last year of my 20s. Perhaps it’s time to get serious and start wearing suits and ties and talking about politics and the economy. Or maybe I’ll just have some drinks and play videogames. The world is my oyster. Look out, here I come.

Now for something completely different, here is a funny movie about a dog that I enjoyed quite a bit this morning.

This link is stolen from me.  I came across it on YouTube today. Visit my site: CorruptCamel.com and follow me on Twitter.  Funny, eh? That wasn’t, but this video is. Enjoy.

With World Cup fever spreading across the planet it’s fitting that we talk about the international phenomenon that is soccer, or football, or whatever you want to call it. The world seems to love soccer, but no matter how hard I try, and how much beer I drink, I just can’t get into it. It’s not so much the slow pace of the game, the lack of goal scoring, or the oohing and ahhing over shots that sail 40 feet wide of the net, it’s the diving. The diving in soccer is absolutely ridiculous and soccer lovers seem to accept this as part of the game. The sport would be better without the diving. This I can assure you. Seems like there’s constantly a player on the pitch, writhing in pain, being taken off on a stretcher only to return 12 seconds later at full speed, no ill effects of the “severe” injury they suffered moments prior. My friend John jokes that the water they have available at the bench is magic. I wish I could have as much faith. So why is it, exactly, that they don’t call more yellow cards for diving?  Well, I may have found the reason.

Recently, a Croatian soccer player collapsed despite the fact that he clearly was not touched by a player on the opposing team. The ref, trying to restore dignity and pride to the game, issued a yellow card to the Croation for diving.  Finally, justice being served, right? Not exactly.  Goran Tunjic, a defender playing for the Mladost FC, didn’t dive, he died. A fatal heart attack caused the 32-year old to fall dead on the spot. *In a valley girl voice* Awkwaaaaaaaaaard. (I’d like to thank BG The Brain for the link to this story. He posted it on Twitter and I swiped it up.  Check out his website, Lists by Losers, which is run by “a group of Tweeters who feel the need to post lists.” It’s funny stuff.)

I, like, believe dives in soccer should totally be reviewable after the game and harsh fines and suspensions should definitely be issued. I guess I can stop the valley girl thing. Anyway, it’s time to restore some respect to a sport that is full of talent. Purists be damned.

Take a look at the below video and tell me diving should be part of the soccer. This whole video is hilarious.

This Julian Smith guy is quite funny. He’s become one of my favorite YouTubers. I didn’t actually steal this link from anyone except Julian Smith. So check out this video, then check out some more of his videos. Happy Turd Thursday.