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The Truth About the Soul Patch

C. Camel — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 17:20:33 +0000

*Like anything else, there are exceptions. Notably, Canadian icon, George Stroumboulopoulos.

A soul patch is that ugly tuft of hair that grows above your chin and under your lip. Legend has it that the soul patch covers (or patches) the hole from which your soul was extracted, which is why most people with soul patches are soulless bastards.

TRUTH

99% of all soul patchers are douchebags, not because of the soul patch, but because douchebags, by design, have incredibly powerful urges to grow that little bastardy tuft of hair right under their lip. So if you have one, be careful, because some people might be under the assumption you’re a douchebag even if you’re not.
The soul patch is evil manifesting itself into facial hair!
The only people who should have soul patches are talent agents, baseball pitchers, grungy musicians, and those who are active in the art of douchebaggery.
Like the Hitler mustache is associated with Hitler, the soul patch is synonymous with being a douchebag. I can’t stress this enough.
People, especially your girlfriend, wife, or mother, will try to tear the soul patch off of your face.
The soul patch can often be seen co-mingling with lightning shaped sideburns.
Patches are for elbows, knees, and flat tires, not your face.

EXCEPTIONS

A soul patch in conjunction with any other type of beard or thick stubble is acceptable and is NOT a sign of being a douche. It’s not even a real soul patch.
If you’re covering up a scar, mole, or other facial deformity, like a baby toe growing out from under your lip. It happens, it really does.
There are some great people who have soul patches! Heck, any CorruptCamel.com reader with a soul patch has gotta be a great guy, right? RIGHT?

The exceptions are few and far between, so shave the soul patch before the soul patch engulfs your heart, mind, chin, and of course, soul.

Time Magazine Honors Facebook Creator Mark Zuckerberg

C. Camel — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 16:32:24 +0000

New Cigarette Warning Labels Hit Shelves Today

C. Camel — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 16:03:53 +0000

Firstly, for those of you not familiar with

the old Canadian cigarette warning labels, here they are:

And below are the new Canadian Cigarette warning labels.

CorruptCamel.com does not endorse smoking, but does endorse creating humor out of things not usually humorous.

If Geeks Had Their Way: Magnum PI

C. Camel — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 15:41:07 +0000

Gory Public Service Announcements

C. Camel — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 17:34:25 +0000

When it comes to public safety, one cannot go too far in order to get the message across.

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An Inspirational Message from Scott Baio

C. Camel — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 15:51:53 +0000

Send or Tweet this link to a friend or colleague who is in need of guidance. You may save his or her life.

Maturity Test – Olay, Olay, Olay, Olay…

C. Camel — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 15:13:33 +0000

Simple rules: if you laugh, you’re immature, if you don’t, you’re mature. Which one are you?

Michael Cera, Now a Delicious Soft Drink Called Wostok

C. Camel — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 15:31:14 +0000

If you bottled Michael Cera, and made him into a drink, what would he taste like? Many ladies, who adore the innocent, dorky, shy, yet lovable actor might want to know. In Berlin, my beautiful girlfriend came across the beverage, Wostok. With a cry of excitement, she declared, “Holy shit, this looks like Michael Cera!”

Did we buy a bottle? Nope. It didn’t have alcohol in it and in Berlin, we wanted something with alcohol in it. Foolish. People always say to live life without regrets, but after not buying a bottle of Wostok, this is impossible for me.

The question is, do you think it looks like Michael Cera? Also, what other Arrested Development stars would you like to see depicted on a European soft drink?

Achtung Baby! Corrupt Camel is off to Berlin

C. Camel — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 16:21:21 +0000

After 3 long years, Corrupt Camel has had enough of the 9-5 bullshit and is backpacking Europe again. When I’m not passed out from drinking too much delicious beer, I’ll try to do an update or 2 now and then, and I’ll throw in some Euro-flare. In the meantime, treat each other kindly and don’t be a …

This is the sole reason I'm returning to Berlin.

Funny SPAM: A College Diploma in “Who’s the Boss?”

C. Camel — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 16:07:48 +0000

Often times I like to check my website’s spam filter for a good laugh. Here is the comment:

which on its own isn’t very funny, but when you see what Corrupt Camel post supposedly helped this young scholar with his assignment, it’s pretty amusing. I don’t know about you, but I don’t remember having any assignments like this in college. Happy Friday.

If you have any Funny Spam, please contact Cornelius J. McPoop (ask for Corny) at www.facebook.com/corruptcamel