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Moms and Dads dropped $1500 on Tickle Me Elmo in Christmas of 1996, but now people don't even want it for a quarter.

For more on Tickle Me Elmo madness, check out this article from People magazine.

If you're done tickling Elmo, you can use this guide to tickle your lady friend(s).

Got an issue with Granny? Then this terrifying Voodoo Granny doll is for you!

Don't remember who Susan Powter is? Maybe that's because you're lucky enough to have repressed the memories of her. She's even more terrifying than Voodoo Granny.

This was on the package of a 3D Dog Puzzle. The kids' reaction is priceless, but seeing how the unopened puzzle was at the garage sale, I'd say their reaction is inaccurate.

This would look excellent above the mantle.

Some people like their exotic dancers dangerous, but for those who don't ...

I'm not sure that learning to paint rocks and learning to surf are related, but what do I know?

Here I was thinking I was the only one that called my penis a Dammit Doll. Go figure.

This is one sexy shot glass that had me reaching for my Dammit Doll, but I am a bit curious why the nipples are hairy.

Why, in God's name, do the French call Waldo Charlie? This irks me to the nth degree.

The "Salty" tag is protruding from his balls. Salty balls. Get it? Nevermind.

Porsche, Ferrari, Lamborghini...I-Roc? I can't believe this didn't sell.

Two of my friends insisted I take this picture. Later, another friend said, "Hey, did you get a picture of the Nut Vendor jar?" We're a real mature group.

What’s the best/funniest thing you’ve ever found at a garage sale?

P.S. Commenting helps increase world awesomeness.

Hey kids, who wants a sausage?

Family BBQ fun time with this apron I found in Venice. Looks like David replied to one of those emails I always find in my junk folder.

So I attended the TFC home opener this year. For those who don’t know, TFC stands for Toronto Football Club, which is Toronto’s Major League Soccer (MLS) team. I’ve been to quite a few games, but never a home opener. I must say, I learned a few things about my fellow Torontonians.

Torontonians Love Soccer

Torontonians Love Beer

The love of soccer and beer are understandable, but there is one thing I didn’t understand…

Why are Torontonians protesting against Austin Powers and his mojo? I'm so confused.

Finally a place where you can bring your pig-tailed child to get a dog on a platter. Frankly, it's about frikkin' time.

What's great about this menu? It's unusually funny and distinctly hilarious. A vigorous use of a Czech to English thesaurus.

More wonderful signs I’ve come across in my travels. These ones found in the beautiful Czech Republic.



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With both his first and middle initial being a 'P', Paul never had a chance. If only his middle name was Carl.

While visiting the beautiful city of Vancouver, instead of taking pictures of mountain vistas I thought this was a far better photo op.

You might call me immature for thinking this is funny, but remember, my website’s logo is a camel head. You should have known I was immature a long time ago. Happy Hump Day, kids.

Your Caption Here

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I’ve formulated some theories as to why someone wouldn’t like dancing dogs.

1. Perhaps the owner’s Granny was on a leisurely drive, saw a beautiful peace inspiring dancing dog, and like so many others, was in a state of awe. In this awe-induced state she allowed the car to wander into oncoming traffic and got hit, head on, by a truck. Granny was killed instantly. Thus the owner of the store claims dancing dogs killed Granny.

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2. A clever thief used dancing dogs to distract the store owner while he ransacked the cash register.

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3. Thinks dancing dogs cause lung cancer, heart disease, and in some cases impotence, but in fact has mixed up dancing dogs with smoking.

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If you have any theories, feel free to leave them in the comments section.

Also, I’m looking for a caption for this pic and am willing to donate a beer for the best one.  Leave your brilliant ideas in the comments section found at the bottom of this article.

I saw this sign in Toronto and had to take a picture.

Just when you thought you couldn't find "real food" anywhere

When you own a teriyaki restaurant, teriyaki is the big selling item. It’s what will make or break the business. But when your sign says, “Not Only Teriyaki” and below says, “Real Food,” it implies that your make or break item, the teriyaki, isn’t real food.  Another knee slapper is that “Real Food!” has an exclamation point beside it, which means they’re excited they have real food. They don’t think this is something being offered everywhere else. 

Also, if the daily special is glued or painted on your window, and has been there since the restaurant opened, it’s not a daily special, it’s the regular everyday price. 

I actually used to eat here and it was only when the “For Rent” sign was up that I started thinking of possible reasons it could have gone belly-up. Oddly enough, when they served me iced tea from a paint bucket, I was just happy my lunch was under $5 and included a drink. 

They also had many copies of Hello! magazine, which kept me updated on any gossip pertaining to the royal family. I used to dare people to quiz me on Prince Harry. Alas, those days are gone, and so is my teriyaki restaurant. Where am I going to get real food? 

Oh well, fuck it, I’ll get thai cuisine at this place instead.

I saw this restaurant in Berlin and it made me laugh

Italian or Thai tonight? Phuket!