Category Archives: News

He-Man Not a Master of the Universe, Merely Has Bachelor’s Degree

He-Man Not a Master of the Universe, Merely Has Bachelor’s Degree

Castle Grayskull, ETERNIA – It appears, He-Man, the man everyone assumed to be a Master of the Universe never actually finished grad school. “Guys, gimme a break. I mean, It’s not a complete lie, I finished the course work, but never got around to completing my thesis,” exclaimed He-Man, back peddling nervously amongst a seaContinue Reading

Doctor Stripped of License After Misdiagnosing Cancer as a Case of the Mondays

Doctor Stripped of License After Misdiagnosing Cancer as a Case of the Mondays

AURORA, Illinois – Dr. Arnold Schneider was stripped of his medical license after misdiagnosing lung cancer as a case of the Mondays. When long time patient Darlene Hammond went to Dr. Schneider complaining of tightness in her chest, shortness of breath, and repeated bouts of bronchitis, Dr. Schneider chuckled and told her to “quit herContinue Reading

Gallup Poll: 32% of Americans Think Independence Day is Honoring the 1996 Will Smith Movie

Gallup Poll: 32% of Americans Think Independence Day is Honoring the 1996 Will Smith Movie

A recent Gallup poll, asking American citizens why they celebrate the 4th of July, has revealed that a whopping 32% thought it was to honor the 1996 blockbuster Will Smith movie, Independence Day. In this film aliens invade, Will Smith kicks alien ass, the end. This alien ass-kicking, of course, occurs on July 4th. IndependenceContinue Reading

iPhones Give You Hemorrhoids

iPhones Give You Hemorrhoids

I bet the title of this article has Apple fan boys angry and Apple haters licking their chops at the opportunity to arm themselves with anti-Apple ammo. Truth is, all smartphones can lead you down the path to butt hurt, but putting “iPhone” in the title has a way of grabbing more attention and thisContinue Reading

An Airtight Argument Against Stricter Gun Laws in the USA

An Airtight Argument Against Stricter Gun Laws in the USA

The US is often criticized, from both outside and within the country, for having lax laws and attitudes towards guns. When in other countries, children are learning to walk or speak, many young American children are proudly learning to fire guns. Owning and learning to fire a gun is a rite of passage in America.Continue Reading

Getting a Parcel from a Twitter Friend: The Australian Care Package

Getting a Parcel from a Twitter Friend: The Australian Care Package

Imagine receiving a package from another country. A package filled with magical items exclusive only to that country. Imagine receiving this package from someone you’ve never actually met in person. Those who are paranoid might see this as a recipe for disaster, but for me, this was a recipe for awesome. This is the AustralianContinue Reading

Pope Benedict XVI Resigns to Devote More Time to World of Warcraft

Pope Benedict XVI Resigns to Devote More Time to World of Warcraft

The 265th Pope has resigned. Early reports claimed the Pope, Benedict XVI, stepped down from the position for health reasons, but the Ex-Pope was quick to dispel these rumors. “When I said resigning for health reasons, I meant the health of my level 47 Death Knight in WoW. The little dude is getting pwned onContinue Reading

America voted, and the worst first name is…

America voted, and the worst first name is…

Americans voted on the worst name ever, and the winner (loser) is ….Continue Reading

How to Update Your LIVESTRONG Bracelet for 2012

How to Update Your LIVESTRONG Bracelet for 2012

Remember those yellow LIVESTRONG bracelets people wore partially because they stood for something, but more so because they were trendy? Sure you do, you’ve got one in a drawer somewhere. Go get it and let’s update it for 2012!Continue Reading

How to Get the Best Price on a New Car

How to Get the Best Price on a New Car

Talk to anyone who has bought a car and he will tell you he got a great deal. But if car salesmen are the slimes we make them out to be, how is everyone getting a great deal? The answer is simple, if a car salesman has done his job right, he will convince youContinue Reading

Green Lantern is Gay

Green Lantern is Gay

Really though, how did you not see this happening? Green Lantern’s power stems from his jewelery, which not surprisingly, matches his outfit perfectly.Continue Reading

St. Patrick’s Day Rioter Confesses Crimes on Facebook

St. Patrick’s Day Rioter Confesses Crimes on Facebook

Facebook has become the ultimate interrogator. By simply asking the question, “What’s on your mind?” to its users, criminals feel compelled to confess their crimes to Facebook. Take this latest example for instance: LONDON, CANADA – A city known not only for its post-secondary schools (The University of Western Ontario, and Fanshawe College), but alsoContinue Reading

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?

The word “holiday” is actually derived from “holy-day”, so wishing someone happy holidays without knowing if they’re religious or not wouldn’t be politically correct either. So in the end none of us are being very PC, are we?Continue Reading

Movember Winners and Losers

Movember Winners and Losers

A run down of the Movember winners and losers.Continue Reading

Ads Leak Showing Amazing New Feature on iPhone 5

Ads Leak Showing Amazing New Feature on iPhone 5

Three iPhone 5 print ads appeared on a UK tech website for about 10 minutes before being yanked. Luckily, we were able to download them first.Continue Reading