CorruptCamel.com

It Tony was my best friend we’d talk about his days as a 2nd baseman for the St. Louis Cardinals and just how heartbreaking it must have been to go from a Major League Baseball player to a housekeeper in Connecticut. He would tell me that life can throw you some curveballs sometimes. I’d enjoy his timely baseball analogy and nod in agreement. Life can be tricky.

While noshing on Tony’s homemade veal sandwich we’d compare secrets in removing common and uncommon household stains and as always, Tony would know far too many housekeeping secrets. Is there anything he’s not good at? What a swell bestie Tony is.

Perhaps over a few beers I’d ask him just how bad things got between him and Angela when he took the teaching job in Iowa and if, in the end, it was worth it.

I might inquire if he had any nude photos of Mona hidden away that I could take a peek at or just how much he misses his blue van. That Mona was smoking hot and that van was super classic. Two old beauties that I wish could last forever.

“Has Jonathan come out of the closet yet?” I’d ask at Billy’s wedding.  Tony would probably laugh and say, “No comment.” He usually says the right things.

I’d probably get drunk one time and tell him he could do better than Angela and that he should go after Samantha. “She’s a hottie and has a nice rack,” I’d confide only remembering that Samantha is his daughter after he sent me reeling with a powerful right jab. “Don’t pretend you never thought about it, Tony!” I would yell angrily as I crawled away, pissing myself in terror. We would never speak again. You’d think Tony would understand that mistakes happen. After all, he did slide into home that one time and was out by a mile. What was he thinking? What a jackass.

The thought of attending an acoustic show did not wow or excite me, but it sounded like a decent, relaxing night out in Toronto. On top of that, I was more than curious to return to my old favorite venue, the El Mocambo, where I’d attended two of my all time favorite shows: Millencolin and The Suicide Machines over 10 years ago. Whether it was the many many rum and cokes and Labatt 50s, the intimate and nostalgic atmosphere of the El Mocambo, the company of good friends, or the great music I couldn’t tell you, but it made for one hell of a good night and a pretty mean hangover the next morning.

Joey Cape (singer of Lagwagon) and Tony Sly (singer of No Use for a Name) strummed their way through acoustic versions of their respective band’s hits, threw in some witty banter in between songs (mostly Cape, he’s a funny guy), and did a couple originals. Slurring my way through each song, cursing myself for leaving my camera at home, and yelling out song requests made for one great night out with the boys. If you’re familiar with Lagwagon or No Use for a Name, see Joey Cape and Tony Sly when they come to your town. You won’t be disappointed.

Thanks for a great birthday gift Z…As you can see, I stole your pictures, just like I said I would while stumbling to the subway station.

Most everyone will agree, Italy is a beautiful country. Great food. Great people. So why do so many people (including myself) hate the Italian Soccer team? Italians might tell you it’s because The Azzurri are a great team and always have been. But by that logic, shouldn’t everyone hate Brazil too? Others will tell you it’s because the Italian team are flagrant divers. But as much as people don’t like Portugal for the same reason, it’s not nearly as bad as the hate I’ve seen for Team Italy. Hmmmm…

Let’s quickly examine three teams that are hated (and loved).

New York Yankees. Storied and successful history, currently successful, highest payroll in MLB, tons of fans across North America.

Toronto Maple Leafs. Storied and successful history, currently awful, tons of fans across North America.

Manchester United. Storied and successful history, currently successful, high payroll, tons of fans worldwide.

What do these teams have in common?

Storied history or a history of success seems to be a must for hating a team. Team Italy wins a lot and always have. Check.

Current success is a wildcard, but as far as I’m concerned, acts a hatred multiplier. Italy are the 2006 World Cup champs. Check.

High payroll isn’t a factor in World Cup soccer, but because it can be looked at as attaining success through not playing on even terms, it can be compared to diving. Both are cheap victories one might say,  although fans of the aforementioned teams might just call that sour grapes. For non-Italians, do you hate Team Italy? Why or why not? For Italians, why do you think The Azzurri are hated so much?

Anyway, here’s a little clip from the 2010 World Cup. Dive or leg cramp? You tell me.

The FIFA 2010 World Cup of Soccer is upon us and everyone is flying their flags and sporting their team’s colors. So the question is, who are you rooting for? For those of you who don’t care, there’s an option for you on there too.

Remember the question isn’t who do you think is going to win, it’s who do you WANT to win (Please retweet this link or post it on your Facebook page using the buttons below. Let’s see which country has the best following).

To vote, select your answer, then click the “vote” button at the bottom of the poll.

I haven’t been updating the website recently. Why? I dunno. Laziness, busyness, a two week bout with explosive diarrhea? Take your pick. They might all be true.

It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m pretty excited about it. I like having people celebrate my ability to survive yet another year. How do I do it? I don’t run into traffic and I haven’t contracted a fatal disease. Those two things are key in mastering the art of survival. But heck, if you’re reading this, you’re still surviving too. Good on ya. Got any tips on dodging the Grim Reaper you’d like to share?

Anyway, tomorrow, on June 11th, be sure to celebrate my continuing immortality.  I enter the last year of my 20s. Perhaps it’s time to get serious and start wearing suits and ties and talking about politics and the economy. Or maybe I’ll just have some drinks and play videogames. The world is my oyster. Look out, here I come.

Now for something completely different, here is a funny movie about a dog that I enjoyed quite a bit this morning.

So instead, here’s a picture of a rabbit’s head on a stake and a smiling sun. I call it, I Don’t Want to Talk About the Montreal Canadiens’ Recent Playoff Success.

For those of you who don’t know, Phil DeFranco, or sXePhil, is a famous YouTuber who often garners more than a million views per video he uploads. He’s responsible for 3 different successful YouTube channels and his full-time career is, yup you guessed it, a YouTuber. I have been watching Phil DeFranco’s vlog for over 6 months, and I consider him a pretty funny guy, so when he Tweeted a link to a new post on his website, I replied to it both via Twitter and directly on his website. To be clear, this was a website post, not a video post. The video post was yet to come.

Phil’s website post shows a t-shirt with a racist remark, which Phil isn’t denying is racist, but is using more as a platform for the joke seen below.

In response I replied on his website under the handle: C. Camel (below)…

and via Twitter (below) in hopes that he would read at least 1 of the 2 messages (sad, I know).

The funny part is, I reposted a link I had pilfered from his site later that very day before knowing he had used my joke, but the difference being that I gave him full credit and included link to both his website and his vlog! (you can see that post here). I’d like to clarify that I know this isn’t the best joke on the planet, and that someone, somewhere in the world might have made it before. Anyhow, later that night, and well after I’d posted the joke on both his website and Tweeted it to him, sXePhil posted his video (his Facebook announcement of the video pictured below) and reused his aforementioned Comic Sans joke he made on his website, plus 40 seconds in, he added a new joke that sounded very familiar and very much like the joke I had posted to him twice (video below).






While using other people’s links, pictures and ideas isn’t necessarily anything new on the internet, it makes sense to, at least, mention where you got the joke from, or do a shout out, especially if you’re a public figure on the internet. Thinking this was an oversight by Mr. DeFranco, I sent him an email letting him know what had occurred, and that it would be cool if he gave me a shout out. Today I received a response from Phil saying that he thinks this joke is from an old Mad TV or In Living Color episode and it fit the context. Maybe that’s true and maybe that’s a reply you can give anytime someone accuses you of stealing a joke, but it’s a bizarre coincidence that he’d use this old obscure joke hours after I had Tweeted it to him and mentioned it to him on his website. I’m sure Phil used it not really knowing why the joke was fresh in his mind, but it would have been nice to hear, “You know, maybe I did get that joke from you. Sorry about that. ”

So did Phil DeFranco steal my joke? Not knowingly I don’t think, but maybe. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? I don’t think so, or else I’d be calling Phil a asshole and a thief, and I don’t think he’s either of those things. In fact, I’ll be watching his vlogs later today for a laugh or two. I just thought this was a story worth mentioning and so that’s what I’m doing.

Anyway, my name is Corrupt Camel, and you’ve just been .. Corrupted? Doesn’t work quite as well as it would if my name was Phil.

On April 30th, 2010, the new iPad 3G was released to lines of rabid Apple fans. Me? I was too busy pacing a trail into my hallway carpet thinking about how I’m nearly out of  that smooth delicious, chocolaty Nutella.

While many features of the iPad particularly excite me, I can’t quite focus on any of the delectable touch screen treats knowing that sometime this week I will be out of tasty chocolate spread for my toast and English muffins. Will I have to resort to cereal?

Many Apple fans have already decided to wait for the second generation of iPads before opening their wallets, praying for a built-in camera and internet Flash capabilities, but I’m simply wondering if I’ll have to resort to peanut butter and jelly for breakfast sometime this week.

In related news, the Apple app store has been busy with the release of HD quality games that take advantage of the large iPad screen, but is this really something I can be researching when my knife is scraping the bottom of the Nutella jar every morning? Ok, I think I’ve gone as far or farther than I could go with this.

Please send any Nutella Donations or some well wishes to the Corrupt Camel Needs Some Goddamn Chocolate on His Bread Foundation.

So I attended the TFC home opener this year. For those who don’t know, TFC stands for Toronto Football Club, which is Toronto’s Major League Soccer (MLS) team. I’ve been to quite a few games, but never a home opener. I must say, I learned a few things about my fellow Torontonians.

The love of soccer and beer are understandable, but there is one thing I didn’t understand…

In what seemed like a pretty cool gesture, Fat Mike, lead singer of the punk band NOFX and also, my personal hero, poured and handed out a tray of Patrón shots to the audience at his SXSW show in Austin, Texas. Free shots of premium tequila, what a great guy. But as you know from reading the title of this post, this was not your ordinary Patrón. Fat Mike then proceeded to show the audience a video he taped moments before the show, and that appears unedited, of him pissing into the bottle of Patrón and then pouring and handing the shots out to the crowd. The good news is that Fat Mike is an alcoholic, and his piss is mainly tequila anyway. Yum!

When TMZ questioned Fat Mike about his actions he said, “I confirmed that urine was not classified as a biohazard waste and not subject to the risks of legal ramifications of blood, semen, or feces.”

I’ve seen NOFX live many times and am happy to say, I’ve never accidentally, or purposefully drank any of Fat Mike’s urine…Except for that one time.

To see the video, click this link. Thanks to Alex for sending me this story.