Doctor Stripped of License After Misdiagnosing Cancer as a Case of the Mondays

Doctor Stripped of License After Misdiagnosing Cancer as a Case of the Mondays

AURORA, Illinois – Dr. Arnold Schneider was stripped of his medical license after misdiagnosing lung cancer as a case of the Mondays. When long time patient Darlene Hammond went to Dr. Schneider complaining of tightness in her chest, shortness of breath, and repeated bouts of bronchitis, Dr. Schneider chuckled and told her to “quit her… Continue Reading

Tour de France Leader Refuses to Wear Yellow Jersey: “Pat on the Back Will Suffice”

Tour de France Leader Refuses to Wear Yellow Jersey: “Pat on the Back Will Suffice”

Montpellier, FRANCE – Australia’s Daryl Impey, the current leader after 6 stages of the Tour de France, refuses to wear the coveted Yellow Jersey. After obtaining the lead following a grueling ride from Aix-en-Provence to Montpellier, he was handed the dripping wet yellow jersey from Orica Greenedge teammate Simon Gerrans. “Really?” He asked, taking the… Continue Reading

Gallup Poll: 32% of Americans Think Independence Day is Honoring the 1996 Will Smith Movie

Gallup Poll: 32% of Americans Think Independence Day is Honoring the 1996 Will Smith Movie

A recent Gallup poll, asking American citizens why they celebrate the 4th of July, has revealed that a whopping 32% thought it was to honor the 1996 blockbuster Will Smith movie, Independence Day. In this film aliens invade, Will Smith kicks alien ass, the end. This alien ass-kicking, of course, occurs on July 4th. Independence… Continue Reading

NFLer Aaron Hernandez Attempts to Fool Police by Pretending Not to Have Arms

NFLer Aaron Hernandez Attempts to Fool Police by Pretending Not to Have Arms

ATTLEBORO, MASSACHUSETTS – New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was arrested and charged with the murder of semi-pro football player Odin Lloyd today. In an attempt to fool police officers, Hernandez deftly tucked his arms into the sleeves of his white t-shirt and claimed there was no way he could be the murderer, because… Continue Reading

iPhones Give You Hemorrhoids

iPhones Give You Hemorrhoids

I bet the title of this article has Apple fan boys angry and Apple haters licking their chops at the opportunity to arm themselves with anti-Apple ammo. Truth is, all smartphones can lead you down the path to butt hurt, but putting “iPhone” in the title has a way of grabbing more attention and this… Continue Reading

The Top 5 Creepiest Fast-Food Mascots

The Top 5 Creepiest Fast-Food Mascots

For some seriously bizarre reason, there are an inexcusably large number of creepy fast-food mascots. As if mystery meat, morbid obesity, and heart disease aren’t enough to deter the average customer, fast food businesses throw in a creepy mascot to boot. Continue Reading