Beard Popularity Another Win for Male Fashion Laziness

Beard Popularity Another Win for Male Fashion Laziness

Men’s fashion philosophy is based solely around the fuck it mindset. Take beards for example…Continue Reading

The Best and Worst Things About FIFA World Cup

The Best and Worst Things About FIFA World Cup

Why The World Cup can make you smile and rip your hair out for the same reasons. Continue Reading

“You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next” Posts Are Catnip for Morons

“You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next” Posts Are Catnip for Morons

Next time you see a post with a title that ends with “You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next,” realize whoever titled the post thinks you are an idiot.Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS: FIFA forces Uruguay Striker Luis Suárez to have Front Teeth Removed After Biting Incident

BREAKING NEWS: FIFA forces Uruguay Striker Luis Suárez to have Front Teeth Removed After Biting Incident

Suárez revealed in a press conference earlier this morning that FIFA also had all of Suárez’s front teeth removed as a means of preventing further injuries. Continue Reading

Woman’s Rant on Photoshopped Models Postponed; Can’t Find Spanx

Woman’s Rant on Photoshopped Models Postponed; Can’t Find Spanx

Disgusted and outraged at the idea that photos of models are Photoshopped to make the woman appear thinner, bustier, and more youthful, Barb Wheeler plans to voice her opinion at a friend’s upcoming party for The Bachelor finale.Continue Reading

Breaking Mad: Breaking Bad/Mad Men Crossover on the Way

Breaking Mad: Breaking Bad/Mad Men Crossover on the Way

It sounds so far fetched, so crazy, and so stupid that it just might work. Warning, Breaking Bad spoilers below With AMC’s wildly popular show, Breaking Bad, wrapping up recently, and Mad Men set to enter its final season, AMC’s writers are working feverishly to replace the two shows without losing their audiences. The solution:Continue Reading

Miley Cyrus Undergoes Exorcism Following MTV VMAs

Miley Cyrus Undergoes Exorcism Following MTV VMAs

While her family has argued about whether her actions were demon-like or merely just a bout of Twerking Gene Simmons disease, they agreed an exorcism was the best course of action. Continue Reading

He-Man Not a Master of the Universe, Merely Has Bachelor’s Degree

He-Man Not a Master of the Universe, Merely Has Bachelor’s Degree

Castle Grayskull, ETERNIA – It appears, He-Man, the man everyone assumed to be a Master of the Universe never actually finished grad school. “Guys, gimme a break. I mean, It’s not a complete lie, I finished the course work, but never got around to completing my thesis,” exclaimed He-Man, back peddling nervously amongst a seaContinue Reading

Doctor Stripped of License After Misdiagnosing Cancer as a Case of the Mondays

Doctor Stripped of License After Misdiagnosing Cancer as a Case of the Mondays

AURORA, Illinois – Dr. Arnold Schneider was stripped of his medical license after misdiagnosing lung cancer as a case of the Mondays. When long time patient Darlene Hammond went to Dr. Schneider complaining of tightness in her chest, shortness of breath, and repeated bouts of bronchitis, Dr. Schneider chuckled and told her to “quit herContinue Reading

Tour de France Leader Refuses to Wear Yellow Jersey: “Pat on the Back Will Suffice”

Tour de France Leader Refuses to Wear Yellow Jersey: “Pat on the Back Will Suffice”

Montpellier, FRANCE – Australia’s Daryl Impey, the current leader after 6 stages of the Tour de France, refuses to wear the coveted Yellow Jersey. After obtaining the lead following a grueling ride from Aix-en-Provence to Montpellier, he was handed the dripping wet yellow jersey from Orica Greenedge teammate Simon Gerrans. “Really?” He asked, taking theContinue Reading

Gallup Poll: 32% of Americans Think Independence Day is Honoring the 1996 Will Smith Movie

Gallup Poll: 32% of Americans Think Independence Day is Honoring the 1996 Will Smith Movie

A recent Gallup poll, asking American citizens why they celebrate the 4th of July, has revealed that a whopping 32% thought it was to honor the 1996 blockbuster Will Smith movie, Independence Day. In this film aliens invade, Will Smith kicks alien ass, the end. This alien ass-kicking, of course, occurs on July 4th. IndependenceContinue Reading

NFLer Aaron Hernandez Attempts to Fool Police by Pretending Not to Have Arms

NFLer Aaron Hernandez Attempts to Fool Police by Pretending Not to Have Arms

ATTLEBORO, MASSACHUSETTS – New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was arrested and charged with the murder of semi-pro football player Odin Lloyd today. In an attempt to fool police officers, Hernandez deftly tucked his arms into the sleeves of his white t-shirt and claimed there was no way he could be the murderer, becauseContinue Reading

Blackhawks Use Picture of Crying Marchand as Motivation to Win Cup

Blackhawks Use Picture of Crying Marchand as Motivation to Win Cup

Just one day after the Chicago Blackhawks defeated the Boston Bruins in a dramatic game 6 finish to win the 2013 Stanley Cup, rumors are circulating about the Blackhawks unorthodox means of getting motivated. Rumor has it, the Blackhawks had a life-sized picture of super pest, Brad Marchand, crying, posted on the dressing room wall.Continue Reading

iPhones Give You Hemorrhoids

iPhones Give You Hemorrhoids

I bet the title of this article has Apple fan boys angry and Apple haters licking their chops at the opportunity to arm themselves with anti-Apple ammo. Truth is, all smartphones can lead you down the path to butt hurt, but putting “iPhone” in the title has a way of grabbing more attention and thisContinue Reading

What Ever Happened to Rebecca Black?

What Ever Happened to Rebecca Black?

The first time we heard the auto-tuned awfulness of “Friday” and tortured our eyes with the amateur music video, we knew it was only a matter of time before we’d be asking, what ever happened to Rebecca Black?Continue Reading