Man Finally Accepts Baldness, Purchases Fedora


After years of comb overs, baseball caps, and that forgettable week with a hair piece, 26-year-old Greg Hughson finally slipped out of his balding denial phase and into a sharp looking fedora. The purchase of a fedora, of course, signifying a man’s acceptance of his extended forehead.

FACT: 8/10 bald men under 40 own and actively sport a fedora.

In a recent survey, 82.3% of bald men agreed amassing an incredible hat collection is one of the greatest perks to losing one’s hair. Steve Sanderson, an accountant who recently celebrated his 8-year baldiversary, had this to say, “Some of my haired friends only have like two hats. Me? I’m wearing more than two hats right now!”


Greg wasn’t the only one excited to move on to the next stage of his life, his friends were also thrilled about Greg feeling at home with his dome. “You know when you’re talking to someone with a bad comb over and in your mind you’re saying, don’t look at it, don’t look at it, but all you can do is look at it? That was Greg,” said Jill Benton, Greg’s ex-girlfriend from his “hair days.”

FACT: Hair Days would be a great band name.

Greg’s close friend Justin took some of the credit for Greg’s bald acceptance, “I think the several references I made to Jason Statham being a ‘cool guy’ helped Greg feel more comfortable with his head desert.”

FACT: Jason Statham is the most cited example of a handsome bald man.

With Greg’s acquisition of the first of what promises to be many fedoras, his friends and family are now taking bets on how long it will be before he adds a newsboy cap to his fast growing hat collection.

FACT: The fedora is a gateway hat.

Share this post with all the fedora wearing bald friends in your life using the buttons below.

Follow CC on ...