Beard Popularity Another Win for Male Fashion Laziness


Have you seen some of the female rituals that occur before even one 6-inch stiletto-heeled toe-crushing shoe leaves the house? Have you witnessed the meticulous manipulation of each individual strand of hair? Nearly every day a girl constructs a masterpiece on top of her own head she knows will be destroyed within hours. Yet we’re impressed when we see a towel folded into a swan. Have you laid your eyes upon the art a girl will deftly brush upon her own face to compliment and highlight her features while camouflaging anything she deems an imperfection? Bob Ross ain’t got nothing on that.

Then there’s men. Men’s fashion philosophy is based solely around the fuck it mindset.

Men’s great feats in fashion are those that minimize effort, not necessarily those that yield the best results. Don’t believe me? Men managed to make a hairstyle called “bed head” cool. Some dude woke up, decided he was far too lazy to fix the mess on his head, said “fuck it” and left the house anyway. On top of that, he managed to convince enough people his hairstyle was done on purpose and that it was awesome.

Dress shoes uncomfortable? Fuck it, wear a pair of Chuck’s and pass it off as fashionably eccentric.

Men’s latest victory is the popularity of beards. Think of people usually associated with having beards: lumberjacks, homeless guys, dudes on Harleys, closing pitchers, and guys with no chin. These are not men most women would consider classically handsome or well kept gentlemen, but those dudes have one less thing to worry about cleaning up in the morning. The well groomed men were jealous. Maybe it was the same dude who didn’t want to fix his bed head. Maybe he woke up, and this time saw his face going all Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia and said, “Fuck it” and the rest is history. No longer did he have to use a pesky comb or scrape hair off his face with a dangerously sharp tool. Brilliant.

Next on the agenda: making farts sexy.

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