An Airtight Argument Against Stricter Gun Laws in the USA

thewalkingdeadguns

The US is often criticized, from both outside and within the country, for having lax laws and attitudes towards guns. When in other countries, children are learning to walk or speak, many young American children are proudly learning to fire guns. Owning and learning to fire a gun is a rite of passage in America. It’s in the constitution, you know? Many argue that Americans don’t live in a time of civil war anymore, that there is no longer a need to keep an arsenal of guns in order to protect their land from thieves and bandits. They claim guns are no longer needed to fight off a corrupt government and there is no logical need for a citizen to own a semi-automatic assault rifles with high-capacity mags. But are they really thinking about the big picture? Are they making assumptions based on the current short-lived time of peace?

More specifically, are they even concerned about the inevitable zombie apocalypse?

When the zombie apocalypse befalls our beloved Earth, and you’d better believe it will, the rest of the world will wish they were packing heat America style. Southern USA will be the safest place in the world, I guarantee it. Enough guns and ammo to arm the biggest, baddest, zombie killing army this planet has ever seen. You might say, “America already has a large, powerful army, why do citizens need guns too?” However, if you’ve paid attention to the televised zombie simulations, such as The Walking Dead, you’d have notice the army always gets overwhelmed. ALWAYS. It’s up to the citizens to defend themselves. It’s the only way order can be restored when the proverbial shit hits the fan.

Take England for example. Very strict gun laws. Do you think the Brits can withstand an army of zombies by beating them down with billy clubs and superior vocabulary skills? Not bloody likely.

Will Canadians slow the undead in a pool of sticky maple syrup and then shoot hockey pucks at them? That simply won’t work.

Will the Aussies throw rabid dingos and koalas at the walkers while riding on the back of kangaroos? On paper, it sounds like a great plan, but when the dingos and koalas turn into zombies, the plan will collapse on itself.

How about China? Last I heard, being incredible at math will not kill a zombie.

The only other country who might stand a chance against the walking dead is Japan because it’s common knowledge that the Japanese know how to throw a Hadoken.

But back to the USA. When the smoke clears, it is the right who will emerge from the rubble victorious, and the left, whose “educated” brains will be littering the streets. Hey socialists, hugging the undead isn’t going to kill them, but blowing their brains out with semi-automatic assault rifles will. So next time you question American gun laws and the constitution, remember the zombie apocalypse (which I can almost guarantee will be caused by Obama).

The Walking Dead 1.1 Days Gone By Behind The Scenes Andrew Lincoln

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  • http://thenonreview.com/ TS Hendrik

    Very concise piece. It’s true that one day the undead will swarm the streets of every country in the world. That’s why I’m working on a zombie repellent spray. All natural of course. Don’t want to hurt the environment.

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