Green Lantern is Gay

Green Lantern is gay.

When I heard the news I instantly thought it was in reference to Ryan Reynolds, who played Green Lantern in the 2011 film, which would make sense because who in his right mind lets Scarlett Johannson get away?


But nope, Ryan Reynolds isn’t gay as far as we know. The news was about Green Lantern, the comic book character. Or more specifically, Alan Scott. DC recently announced Green Lantern will be rebooted and he will be here, queer, so get used to it. You know, somewhere out there, most likely in the south, there are homophobes up in arms over this choice–BEING GAY IS NOT A CHOICE!–Relax, I meant the writer’s choice to make Green Lantern gay.

There are probably more than a few people saying, “Superheroes can’t be queer!”

Why not? With all the spandex leotards, tights, and perfectly color coordinated costumes I’m surprised more superheroes aren’t gay.

Really though, how did you not see this happening? Green Lantern’s power stems from his jewelery, which not surprisingly, matches his outfit perfectly. And the Ring of Power is a perfect analogy for the homosexual man. Think about it.

Truth is, Green Lantern’s sexual preference doesn’t impact his ability to save the world. In fact, the gay community knows all about fighting for civil rights and justice. This is a big step forward not only for gay people, but all people. A step towards normalizing what should have been considered normal by everyone ages go.

As comic lovers, we should be more concerned about that pile of shit Green Lantern movie that came out in 2011, and less concerned about Green Lantern spending a little too much time with Superman. Besides, straight men have nearly every other superhero as a role model. Relax.

Now it’s time to take bets on how long it takes for Green Lantern to hook up with Robin.

I took to Twitter to see how the mob of idiots were reacting, and while many were shocked and upset the bashing was kept to a minimum. There were a couple of idiotic Tweets though, feel free to tell the people below how stupid they are.

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