Brad Pitt Removed From Shania’s ‘Don’t Impress Me Much’ List

Fifteen years after Shania Twain, in her hit song That Don’t Impress Me Much, proclaimed Brad Pitt did not impress her much, it appears the pop country star is changing her tune.

Just moments after walking out of a screening of Pitt’s film, Moneyball, a reporter cornered Shania and asked her what she thought of the movie. “I loved it!” She replied. The reporter then asked what she thought of Mr. Pitt’s performance. She smiled, “He is such an amazing actor. I absolutely love all of his movies. He is still such a heartthrob.”

When she realized the mistake she had made, her hand flew to her mouth, but it was too late. The jig was up.

Since hearing the song when he was 16, the reporter, Alex McFarland, made it his goal to prove Brad Pitt does impress Shania Twain. “Well, from the song, if you recall, there were seven things that did not impress Shania much:

  • You’re a rocket scientist
  • You have a car
  • You think you’re Elvis or something
  • You’re Brad Pitt
  • You’re Captain Kirk
  • You’re Tarzan
  • You’re John Wayne.

“Besides Brad Pitt, the rest of the list don’t impress me so much either except for the John Wayne one, because he’s long dead. But honestly, who isn’t impressed by Brad Pitt? You are, right? Anyway, the moment I heard her say she wasn’t impressed, I was like, ‘Man, that chick is full of shit.’ I’ve spent my whole journalistic career following her in hopes this opportunity would arise. I knew it would. My Mom says I wasted my life doing this, and after achieving my lifelong goal, I’d probably have to agree, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t a great moment in my life.”

In summary, Brad Pitt DOES impress Shania Twain. Impresses her much.

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  • http://thenonreview.com/ TS Hendrik

    About time someone took her down a peg. Other than a stage I mean. Hi-oh!

  • http://dumbfunnery.com/ DumbFunnery

    Dang it Camel. I read this thinking “don’t read this, you’ll just get that stupid song stuck in your head” and now here I am. Why is that song just catchy enough to stick around, but not catchy enough to not make me want to punch a baby?

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