Deadly Animals: 13 Amazing Facts About the Capybara

#1. The capybara is the largest living rodent in the world, even larger than the gigantic sewer rat that climbs, soaking wet, from the depths of your toilet each night and scurries across your exposed feet.

#2. Capybara can grow up to 4.3 feet (130 cm) in length, and weigh up to 140 lb (65 kg). 60% of that weight, is cock.

#3. The capybara’s jaw hinge is non-perpendicular and they thus chew food by grinding back and forth rather than side-to-side. When they’re not grinding food, they’re probably grinding with your Mama.

#4. Capybara eat their own feces as a source of bacterial gut flora and to help digest the cellulose in the grass. If you cross a capybara, they’ll bully you into eating their feces too.

#5. While capybara do sometimes live solitarily, they are more commonly found in groups that average 10-20 individuals. These groups are also known as Capybara Fight Clubs. The first rule of Capybara Fight Club is that you do not talk about Capybara Fight Club or eating of one’s own feces.

#6. An adult capybara will eat 6 to 8 pounds (2.7 to 3.6 kg) of grass per day, while getting hundreds of pounds of ass per day.

#7. A capybara can sleep underwater, keeping its nose just over the waterline. This makes it easier for it to sneak up yo’ ass and take a bite. Keep that in mind, you’re never safe.

#8. Capybara are herbivores, grazing mainly on grasses and aquatic plants. However, they said if they see your ugly face anytime soon, they would be willing to grind your into mulch, digest you, crap you out and eat you again. You’ve been warned.

#9. Capybara can bark like a dog, and can make your Mama do the same.

#10. Capybara have no tails. Scientists agree, the Capybara’s lack of tail is why those suave beasts are so busy chasing it all the time.

#11. Like other rodents, the front teeth of capybara grow continually to compensate for the constant wearing-down from eating grasses and chewing on your terribly hideous face.

#12 Capybara are often confused with Capoeira, the Brazilian art form that combines elements of martial arts, sports, and music. While both can be dangerous, only one of the two has razor sharp buck teeth.

#13. CAPYBARA ARE DEADLY!

  • That line about chasing tail was both clever and painful. The perfect mix. Hilarious through and through.

    • Clever and painful, like a well placed chop to the nuts.

      • Oreotheguineapig123

        YOU ARE DISCUSTING WHY DONT YOU JUST SHUT UP THEY ARENT DEADLY

    • CAPYBARA LOVER

      they dont even have tails SMART 1

  • pubgirl29`

    you’ve been listening to ‘coast to coast’ haven’t you?

    • I only listen to Coast to Coast when I’m on a long drive and I’m music-ed out. Even then, the constant commercial breaks haunt me worse than any ghastly story they tell.

  • Anonymous

    Bahahaha amazing.

  • CAPYBARA LOVER

    i dont think they are deadly so why dont you shut your mouth you no nothing about them so maybe you sholuldnt have even but this on this website

  • CAPYBARA LOVER

    EVERYBODY ON THIS WEBSITE THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS IS LIEING SHE NOT NOTHING ABOUT CAPYBARAS SOOOOO DOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTT
    LISTEN TO THIS PERSON SHE IS THE BIGGEST LIER EVERRRRRR THEYYY ARE NOT AND I REAPET NOTTTTTTTT DEADLY AT ALL THEY ARE VERY NICE INDEED I WORK AT A ZOO THAT HAS TONS OF CAPYBARAS AND IM THE PERSON WHO TAKES CARE OF THEM SO DONT LISTEN TO THE PERSON WHO WROTE THID DDDDDDOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT THIS PERSON IS A LIERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (is the person who wrote this a boy or a grl cuz this is redcioulus and i cant put up with it they are liars)

  • CAPYBARA LOVER

    THE ERSON WHO WROTE THAT IS OBVIOUSLY A LIERR DO U REALLY THINK THEY EAT PEOPLE WHEN THEY ARE VEGATARIANS DDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT BELIVE THIS PERSONT THEY ARE CCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRAAAAZZZZZZZZZZYYYYY

    TRUST ME I WORK AT A ZOO AND IM THE ONE WHO TAKES CARE OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • CAPYBARA LOVER

    people this is all i have 2 say just PLEASEEEE dont belive this person they dont even make any sence PLEASEEEE IM BEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU

    • Dear Capybara Lover, the statements made in bold are true and the ones that aren’t bold clearly are not true and just a ridiculous exaggeration. Don’t worry world, capybara are cool and awesome.

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