I Will Never Watch Dexter

If one more person asks me if I watch Dexter I’m going to lose my shit. It seems like every day some asshole comes by and says, “Hey, do you watch Dexter?” or “Did you watch Dexter last night?” or “Blah bloo blah blippity blah Dexter?”

My answer now, and until the end of time is no.

They usually respond with, “You should. It’s a great show.”

You don’t say. Thanks. You’re the first person to tell me that in the last 9 minutes. Your recommendation was the one I needed to get me off the fence and into DexterLand. I’ll buy all the seasons (right this second!), do a marathon to catch up, and then we can gab about Dexter’s exploits on our cellular telephones. Soon after, when I become a True Dexter Fanatic, we can start up a Dexter blog where all we discuss are all things Dexter. You’ll want to call the blog Dexter-ity or Dexter-ous, but that’s cheesy and stupid, so we’ll call it All Things Dexter because that’s what we discuss on our blog.

Ok, let me take a deep breath, relax, and explain my anger a bit.

I do not live under a TV-less rock, I have heard of Dexter, I have heard it is like OMG-holy-shit-awesome and I have no doubt I would enjoy it if I watched it. But perhaps I refuse to watch it to spite the Dexter Cultists knocking on my door, whispering in my ear, and leaving flyers in my mailbox, or maybe it’s because I can’t watch every single goddamn TV series ever created and I’ve made my choice to watch re-runs of The Golden Girls instead and I will live very happily with that choice.

Some of you are probably thinking, I don’t care that you don’t want to watch Dexter, and that’s exactly what I want people to think so I can stop hearing about it. Stop caring if I watch it, please. Let me be, I beg you. I will learn to deal with the Dexter-shaped hole in my soul.

In all honesty, I don’t mind people recommending TV shows, but I’ve heard more than enough about Dexter and baby, it ain’t happening.

  • I stopped watching Dexter. I loved the first season, though I never recommended it to anyone. Tried to stay with it for another two seasons, but it started to suck more and more. What gets me are the people who bitch about it no longer being on Netflix. If you love it so much that you have to rewatch the episodes every night, buy the flippin’ set already.

    But seriously, you should try it.

  • Anonymous

    “I have no doubt I would enjoy it if I watched it. But perhaps I refuse to watch it to spite the Dexter Cultists ”

    That’ll show ’em!

  • kentuckywoman2

    I don’t watch Dexter either. I tried, but I just don’t see how a show about a seriously sick serial killer working as a pathologist can be a good thing. With so many cop shows on tv, I just don’t think we need one glorifying serial killers. IMHO.

    • True enough, serial killing is its own reward, no need to make it any more attractive.

  • CesareBorgia

    Thank you; my friend always bugs me to watch it, but, candidly, it has no appeal.  A show needs a better hook than ‘Hey!- he’s a serial killer”, just my opinion.

  • JTM78

    How can you judge a show that you have never watched?

  • Alexander The Impaler

    i as well will never watch such a bullshit show where they agree with serial killing even worse , serial killing done from the inside, never watched it , never will

  • As long as you never say the same thing about Breaking Bad 😛

  • Tim Smith

    just an observation – if you can sit through the golden girls and enjoy it, I can’t imagine you wanting to watch dexter.

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