7 Ways to Guarantee You Have Fun on St. Patrick’s Day

A day that’s all about drinking, dancing, and have a great time. I don’t care if you have to work tomorrow, so do millions of other party goers! I beg you to follow the steps below.

1. Wear something green. Sure, maybe the only thing you own that’s green is that 80s sweater that’s 2 sizes too small and smells of moth balls and Aqua Velva, but who cares? Put it on. It’s funny and festive. If you don’t own anything green, buy a cheap t-shirt that says something cliched like, “Kiss me, I’m Irish.”

FACT: Not wearing green says to the world, “I am not fun.” Let me guess, you also don’t dress up on Halloween either. SNOOOOOOOOOOOORE.

2. Go out and have a drink. Maybe you don’t drink beer or whiskey, but go out and have a green cosmo or something. If you have a family at home and can’t find a babysitter, take today to educate your kids on St. Paddy’s Day and its origins. Cut out some shamrocks, maybe pour yourself a Guinness. If you don’t drink, then St. Paddy’s  at a pub might be annoying, as everyone else is probably sloshed. Nothing is worse than being around drunks when you’re sober. Find a way to enjoy St. Paddy’s Day sober, just don’t ask me how that’s done.

3. Be social. Drinking is a social lubricant. Make some new friends. If you’re single, find yourself a nice lad or lassie for the night. Just don’t be surprised at how ugly he/she is when you wake up next to them in the morning.  They’re probably thinking the same thing.

FACT: So many people take part in the walk of shame that they renamed it the St. Patrick’s Day parade!

4. Do something different. If St. Paddy’s Day is getting old, try a new venue or try partying with new people. A change of faces and/or scenery could be just what the Irish Doctor ordered. If tradition is treating you well, stick with it.

5. Start early. Not only is drinking during the day fun, but it also helps you avoid pub lineups, and if you’re responsible enough, you can stop drinking early and miss out on the whole dreaded hangover thing. But don’t be shocked when your plan to stop drinking early slips through the cracks of the beer soaked pub floor.

6. Everyone is Irish on St. Paddy’s Day. Sure, Irish people are even more Irish today, but so is your Italian friend Vincenzo! Don’t be a jerk and give him a hard time. Today Vincenzo’s last name has an O apostrophe in front of it and he has every right to wear green and drink himself stupid!

7. HAVE FUN. There are a million excuses to stay in on St. Paddy’s Day and if someone is boring, they won’t hesitate to use them. You can save money, watch Grey’s Anatomy, or do your laundry any other day. You only live once, get off your ass and start being festive for a change. You won’t regret it, I promise.

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  • I think I’ll just go around killing snakes. What’s more St. Patrick than that?

    • If he was still alive, Barry White would not approve.

      • haha nice …

        Also I agree with people should wear something green – most folks at my work did not and then had the nerve to be offended when I looked at them and yelled “BOOOOO.”

  • You know what I learned from this? I learned that I’m boring. Thanks, man.

    Who am I kidding, you’re too drunk to care.

    • Most people are boring. Almost no one was wearing green yesterday. I cried green tears, then drank green beers. All was well.

  • I used to love this holiday. It was the one day of the year that I could start drinking at sunrise and no one would bat an eye;)

    Excuse me while I raise my diet coke glass to my great friend, O’Vincenzo!

    • I didn’t get to drink at sunrise. I haven’t done that since university. Full time jobs are the pits.

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