Rebecca Black Must Die

I can’t say I know much of anything about YouTube teen star, Rebecca Black, but I know enough. The viral (in so many ways) song, Friday is the worst song ever written. EVER. The 13 year old Ms. Black, and this song, make we want to take a gun, gun, gun, and the law into my own hands. The one thing I can’t wrap my head around: this song is not a joke.

FACT: At the time of writing this post, the video for Friday had over 33.5 million views. Classy stuff human race. Way to go.

I carefully selected some of the more ridiculous lyrics, but believe me when I say, ALL of the lyrics are ridiculous.

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes afterwards
I don’t want this weekend to end

She’s right, you know. Those are the order the days arrive on the weekend.  These brilliant lyrics jog my memory when it’s Friday and I forget what day was yesterday and which days are to follow. This happens pretty often since her song has brutally murdered so many of my brain cells.

I know by writing this, I’m fueling the hysteria surrounding this song, I know I’m aiding in fulfilling the prophecy that this will be the most watched YouTube video of all time, but this song is actually funny. Really, really funny. If you haven’t heard it, you should. The video is equally as awful. But don’t be surprised when you can’t get this terrible, terrible song out of your head.

So maybe Rebecca Black shouldn’t die. She’s just a kid after all, maybe I was a bit harsh. Maybe she needs to be honored. I think she needs to put out a song that discusses her daily routine on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday in more detail. I need to know even the most trivial things. What kind of cereal does she like? How is school going!?! Sing it to me Rebecca. Sing it to me in the worst way possible.

I can’t wait to hear/see what’s next. Here’s the video – Enjoy getting dumb and dumber.

* does not ever actually wish death upon anyone, no matter how annoyingly awful their music is.

Nicolas Cage

Follow CC on ...