How Beyoncé Ruined a Generation of Women

Beyoncé has confused, and possibly ruined, a whole generation of women. Is this a hyperbolic statement? Perhaps, but it’s time for all the single ladies (and maybe their boyfriends) to file a class action lawsuit against Beyoncé. Here’s why:

1. In 1999, Destiny’s Child release the single, Bills, Bills, Bills, which contains the lyrics:

Can you pay my bills?
Can you pay my telephone bills?
Can you pay my automo’bills?
then maybe we can chill
I don’t think you do
so you and me are through

THE MESSAGE: Trying to empower women, Beyoncé and Co. tell girls that, despite years of single income families being the norm, it’s unacceptable to support the man you supposedly care for or love. Men can support women, but according to DC, women are not allowed to support men. That hardly seems fair, but okay B, men shall pay their own bills.

Let’s see what else Beyoncé has to say.

2. In 2000, Destiny’s child release the hit single for the Charlie’s Angels soundtrack, Independent Women, which contains these lyrics:

I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings

THE MESSAGE: Beyoncé reiterates the message to women: buy your own shit. You don’t need a man to pay your bills. I agree with that, but she specifically says she buys her own rings. So to sum up, Beyoncé does not need a man to buy her a ring because she’s an independent woman and will buy her own goddamn ring. Do not, I repeat, buy her a ring.

3. In 2008, Beyoncé releases the astronomical hit, Single Ladies, which has the chorus:

Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it

THE MESSAGE: WHAAAAAAAAAA!?! Beyoncé, perhaps the reason he didn’t “put a ring on it” is because you have been telling us this whole time you will buy your own ring. Maybe he was waiting for you to buy your own ring, give it to him, then demand he get down on one knee and beg you to marry him. He doesn’t know what to do, you confused the shit out of him. Don’t buy a ring, buy a ring. Make up your mind.

THE BOTTOM LINE:
Women are confused, should young Barbara buy her own ring or demand one from her boyfriend, Todd?
Should Barb throw her hands up in independence or pressure Todd to get married?
This generation of women are locked in an internal battle of independence versus codependence. Look closely, steam is actually shooting out of their ears and Beyoncé is to blame for all of it. ALL OF IT. The issues in Egypt and Libya? Oh, you’d better believe that’s Beyoncé’s fault too.

TAKE HOME MESSAGE: Not everyone swims in gold plated infinity pools overflowing with Cristal like Beyoncé. Sometimes couples rely on each other for both emotional and financial support and it’s not always going to be a 50/50 split. People lose their jobs or get ill and need their partner to support them.

The reason divorce rates are so high? People pressuring other people into getting married before they are ready. The song, Single Ladies, will push divorce rates to new highs because women, following the advice of Beyoncé, will put too much pressure on their boyfriend to get married. In fact, since the release of that song, divorce rates have gone up fifty nizzle percent. FIFTY NIZZLE!

The people really reaping the benefits of Beyoncé’s music? Jewelers of course. Jewelers are always behind the red curtain, eating a messy sandwich and rubbing their greedy hands together.

  • Dkopet

    Beyonce is an angel compared to Ke$ha. This women will single-handedly destroy the next generation of women for all men by creating a bunch of whisky-sniffing-whores, lol.

    Dont be a stupid fool kids. Never buy a girl a drink at a club 😉

    • A world full of whisky-sniffing-whores sounds wonderful to me. Absolutely splendid. In fact, you may have just inspired a future post. Cheers my friend.

  • N Dizzle

    Whiskey-Sniffing-Whores. Gold.

    Beyonce will inevitably become one…

  • Markyb

    My ex-girlfriend often claimed she didn’t need me to have a baby and she could easily do it on her own. She didn’t need a man. She fiercely expressed her independence at every turn. But she whined, complained, moped around, berated me and placed a cloud over our relationship with her obsession to get married and raise kids. She could treat me however she liked because she was always the victim. For her it was “Get with MY program or leave!” I left.

    • Good for you. Relationships are about compromise not ultimatums. Now you dance the dance of freedom.

      Viva La Revolución!

  • I think you’ve misunderstood Beyonce’s/DC’s lyrics. With “Bills, Bills, Bills,” the song discusses a man who largely mooches off of his woman and makes no effort to improve his income status. Yes, the lyrics you cited don’t suggest thtis idea, but the song as a whole does. Also, DC has never implied that men should financially support women while they lay unproductive.
    With “Independent Women”, she simply states that what she wants she affords via her own effort. I think you know this. Lastly, what men largely don’t understand about “Single Ladies,” is that it addresses men who have no intention of making a commitment and are “getting the milk for free.” I agree, a man should not be pressured into marriage, but the song isn’t about pressure, its about taking advantage. Getting all the benefits of having a wife, without literally having one. I think Bey’s message is consistent: Make sure your self-sufficient and date an equally ambitious man who will not take advantage of you.

    • Well said. I couldn’t agree more. She provides the world with entertaining and empowering songs and here I am nitpicking. I apologize to you and Bey. I was only kidding around.

      Also, if you look even closer into her lyrics, you’ll notice that every song is really about her favorite episodes of Gilligan’s Island. Bet you didn’t know that.

      • Tjalan

        You are either a woman or a homosexual. You would have to be in order not to see what Beyonce is saying in her man hating lyrics.  It is people like you who are destroying the fabric of American society.

    • Tjalan

      You soundl like what most “males” in America sound like now days. Just a female with testicles. “It’s mine. I bought it.” Don’t for a second get it twisted and think you’re irreplacable” “To the left, to the left”. You’re shit is too the left and don’t touch my shit. All she does is bash men (not males with estrogen filled testicles like yourself) and talk about what she has. J represents the pathetic post 80’s male who were mostly raised by a single woman who hates men with actual testosterone in their nutt sacks. Really pathetic the J’s of America. I would wager that J is also homosexual.

  • TDN

    I don’t understand how people cannot see what that single ladies song is about. She is basically assuming the role of a whore who wants a house and family and income or whatever and says, hey, you can’t have this pussy if you don’t pay for it (i.e., put a ring on it). This basically shows that men only want sex and women want to have babies and need a man to bring in the doe to the home so she can raise the kids. that’s it. Harsh, but true, ask yourself if this is not true? See, I have been viewing marriage more and more as socially acceptable prostitution. The man buys an insurance of sex because he needs it and the woman trades her ass for a financial insurance. Is this not how it is? Why are people not evolving beyond this idea of marriage? Why do women need kids? Why do men need to ejaculate so often? These are the real questions we should be asking ourselves. Not the shallow, ‘oh the man was getting the milk for free, more power to her for not giving it away for nothing!’ What a role model. For fuck’s sake . . .hostie de calvare de crotte, cette chanson de merde.

    • An interesting theory. I think in many cases it can be accurate, especially when men are young, but with age, the need for companionship becomes stronger and the emphasis on sex a little weaker (hopefully not too much weaker).

      Your comment certainly offers some food for thought on what relationships mean to men and women and what their respective priorities are.

      Cheers.

  • Tjalan

    You didn’t even mention the song she wrote telling her boyfriend that he is replacable and that she has another guy already on his way and “he’ll be here in a minute.” which must mean she is a whore who has been screwing someone else the whole time she was with that poor sap she’s singing to. She talks constantly about her things being on the right and the guy’s things being on the left. Beyonce talks about all the “things” she has until I just wish someone would kick her in her teeth. It seems that now days, all female singers sing about hating men. WTF!!!! Carey Underwood is encouraging young girls to destroy a mans property if he cheats on her. Miranda Lambet is the biggest man hating bitch on the planet and the list just goes on and on.

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