DALLAS – With saliva running down her chin, Christina Aguilera skipped over a line while singing The Star Spangled Banner prior to Super Bowl XLV. After the game, CorruptCamel.com had the opportunity to talk to Christina about her performance.
CorruptCamel: So, let’s cut to the chase, what happened?
Christina Aguilera: Well, everything was going great, and then I glanced over to the bleachers, you know, to see if the fans were digging my performance, and that’s when I saw a Packers fan eating a delicious, juicy hot dog.
CC: I don’t understand.
CA: The hot dog had ALL the fix-ins.
CC: So, you were hungry?
CA: Starving. I hadn’t eaten in almost 12 minutes!!
CC: Ok, so to be clear, you got distracted by a hot dog, because you were hungry, and missed a line of the anthem. Is that what happened?
CA: Oh my goodness no, I’m a professional. I just figured if I skipped a couple of lines I could get me one of those doggers even sooner.
CC: Don’t you think your country’s National Anthem is more important than a hot dog?
CA: It had all the fix-ins!
CC: Moving on, you used to be hot, now you’re kind of a chubba-baloo. I’d go as far as to say you kind of look like Cyndi Lauper. What happened? Are you preg-o?
CA: You don’t happen to have a hot dog you could give me, do you?
CC: Christina, this is a phone interview.
CA: All the fix-ins please.
CC: I’m not even in the same country as y–
Please bring back the hot Christina Aguilera. We miss her.