The Truth About Why Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds Split Up

Scarlett Johansson finally opened up about why she and People’s 2010 Sexiest Man Alive, Ryan Reynolds, split up in a statement released earlier today:

I thought I’d clear the air before the tabloids start drawing their own conclusions.

Our marriage was really going well. We couldn’t be happier, but after People magazine named Ryan The Sexiest Man Alive things changed drastically. The morning People informed him he started referring to himself as The Sexiest Man Alive, and would say things like, “Hey Babe, can you get The Sexiest Man Alive a cup of coffee?” or “if you need The Sexiest Man Alive, The Sexiest Man Alive will be upstairs taking a dump.”

At first, it was funny, but a week later, when he changed our voicemail message to, “You’ve reached The Sexiest Man Alive and his very very very lucky wife,” I started getting a little tired of it.  I mean, just look at the changes he demanded IMDB.com make to his profile (see below).  Clearly, this was getting out of hand. He even asked his Mom to call him The Sexiest Man Alive. How creepy is that?

When I call him Ryan he says, “I’m sorry, I’m not sure who you’re talking about,” and won’t respond until I call him The Sexiest Man Alive. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time he referred to himself by his real name.

The fight that ended our relationship started when he asked, “Hey, how about dropping to your knees and giving The Sexiest Man Alive a blowjay?”

When I smiled and responded with, “Sure thing, is Woody Allen here?” things kind of took a turn for the worse.

- Scarlett Johansson

  • http://thenonreview.com/ TS Hendrik

    Haha, the sexiest man alive will be upstairs taking a dump! You don’t get classier than that. Hilarious.

  • Kyle

    Scarlett is back on the market…my chances just went from 0.0001 to 0.0003%!

    • http://www.corruptcamel.com C. Camel

      Tripled! Not bad.

  • Pingback: Tweets that mention The Truth About Why Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds Split Up | CorruptCamel.com -- Topsy.com()

  • http://twitter.com/haikustanley Brad Stanley

    While I am sad about their divorce, I am confident that they will both soon be dating new super good looking people – putting humanity to shame for not doing 300 sit-ups a day.

    Also, ditto Hendrik’s comment.

    If you’ll excuse me I’m going to go eat chips and dip and watch old episodes of The Tick (cartoon one) – I bet the sexiest man never does THAT! … wait …

    • http://www.corruptcamel.com C. Camel

      I look forward to their next choice in mates.

      Man, I could go for some chips and dip now that you mention it.

Follow CC on ...