In a surprise announcement, the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, unveiled Facebook’s newest sister site, Fetusbook. CorruptCamel.com had the opportunity to sit down with Time’s Freckliest Person of the Year and ask about his latest incarnation, and share a cheesy and delicious pepperoni pizza.
CC: Thanks for sitting down with me today. The pizza is delicious and this root beer is very refreshing.
Zuckerberg: The pizza tastes like cardboard and my Mountain Dew is flat.
CC: I’ve never tried cardboard and I suggested you get a root beer. But anyway, let’s get started. So, what is Fetusbook?
Zuckerberg: Fetusbook is just like Facebook, but more focused on pregnant chicks, baby pictures, and baby updates in particular.
CC: Did you just say “pregnant chicks”?
CC: Let me remind you this interview is being recorded. So Fetusbook is for baby related updates, but Facebook users already post baby photos and baby updates on Facebook.
Zuckerberg: Yes, but the baby discussions smother the newsfeed and make it more difficult to see Farmville and Mafia Wars updates. That’s where Fetusbook comes into play.
CC: People, including myself, love seeing pictures of babies. They’re cute. Can I have that last slice of pizza?
Zuckerberg: Not a chance.
Zuckerberg: Look, I’m not inhuman. I like baby pictures and baby updates too, but when is enough enough?
CC: I dunno. You’re the expert. When is enough enough?
Zuckerberg: Well, there is one kind of photo that is plaguing Facebook, and because, technically, there are no restrictions against such a photo, we can’t prevent these photos from being posted. Fetusbook creates an appropriate environment for these photos and photos like them to be posted and lets people, like myself, to never have to see these awkward and creepy pictures on my newsfeed. I’ll show you what kind of photo I’m referring to.
photo from awkwardfamilyphotos.com.
CC: Ah, I see. The baby-daddy rubbing the melon-belly pic. Those photos are certainly creepy and no one wants to see them. Look, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t ask, but might another reason you don’t like baby updates be because they act as a reminder that you’re still a virgin?
Zuckerberg: I have a girlfriend and I’m worth 7 billion dollars.
CC: You failed to answer the question.