Triceratops Didn’t Exist

I just read this article telling me triceratops, the James fucking Dean of dinosaurs, may never have existed. My whole world has been turned upside down.

Sure, someone might say, “The idea of a triceratops still exists, it’s just actually known as a torosaurus. Scientists simply didn’t realize the triceratops was just a torosaurus at a different stage of growth and not actually a different dinosaur. Hey, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, right?”

To that I reply, “Sure, and if Brad Pitt’s name was Diarrhea J. Face, he’d have just as many fans you dream squashing, Shakespeare quoting jerkwad.”

I’ve always modeled myself after the triceratops. Listed under the special skills section of my resume it says, “Triceratops like pugnacity.” Does that mean I’m not as pugnacious as I’ve made myself out to be?

Not sure if I’m going to get over this. Torosaurus? It just doesn’t sound right.

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