With World Cup fever spreading across the planet it’s fitting that we talk about the international phenomenon that is soccer, or football, or whatever you want to call it. The world seems to love soccer, but no matter how hard I try, and how much beer I drink, I just can’t get into it. It’s not so much the slow pace of the game, the lack of goal scoring, or the oohing and ahhing over shots that sail 40 feet wide of the net, it’s the diving. The diving in soccer is absolutely ridiculous and soccer lovers seem to accept this as part of the game. The sport would be better without the diving. This I can assure you. Seems like there’s constantly a player on the pitch, writhing in pain, being taken off on a stretcher only to return 12 seconds later at full speed, no ill effects of the “severe” injury they suffered moments prior. My friend John jokes that the water they have available at the bench is magic. I wish I could have as much faith. So why is it, exactly, that they don’t call more yellow cards for diving? Well, I may have found the reason.
Recently, a Croatian soccer player collapsed despite the fact that he clearly was not touched by a player on the opposing team. The ref, trying to restore dignity and pride to the game, issued a yellow card to the Croation for diving. Finally, justice being served, right? Not exactly. Goran Tunjic, a defender playing for the Mladost FC, didn’t dive, he died. A fatal heart attack caused the 32-year old to fall dead on the spot. *In a valley girl voice* Awkwaaaaaaaaaard. (I’d like to thank BG The Brain for the link to this story. He posted it on Twitter and I swiped it up. Check out his website, Lists by Losers, which is run by “a group of Tweeters who feel the need to post lists.” It’s funny stuff.)
I, like, believe dives in soccer should totally be reviewable after the game and harsh fines and suspensions should definitely be issued. I guess I can stop the valley girl thing. Anyway, it’s time to restore some respect to a sport that is full of talent. Purists be damned.
Take a look at the below video and tell me diving should be part of the soccer. This whole video is hilarious.