Sleeping Like a Blog

There’s an unbelievable amount of people who start blogs, vlogs, and websites in hopes of drawing thousands and millions of readers every day. Heck, you might be one of them, but the reality is, most blogs end up stagnating in internet limbo. Never updated, despite the promise written in the last post from 8-months ago that says, “I’ll be updating more often, I promise!”

Having run this site for over a year, I’ve learned a few things.

More content equals more readers. This is obvious, because if you have thousands of ways your blog can be found on Google, you’re more likely to have people stumbling, tripping and falling on your blog. So sticking with it does pay off in terms of getting your product out to more people. Corrupt Camel’s product? A hodgepodge of nonsense.

People don’t care about you. Too many people start blogs about their every day life, and the truth is, people don’t care about your every day life unless you’re a celebrity or you’re doing things others only dream of doing (traveling the world, working for Apple, or being a pie eating champion). Corrupt Camel doesn’t even care what he did today, but if you must know, it involved eating Nutella on a toasted english muffin. Do most people care what I have to say? Nope, but those who do shall inherit the Earth, or at least a greater understanding of fecal matter.

People like pictures and videos. The average blog reader is lazy and doesn’t like reading. Yes, a reader who doesn’t read. Mind blowing. Show them a picture or a video of a cat with sunglasses playing a piano and you’re golden. I’ve considered getting a video camera to add video to the site, but like you may have heard from others during your dating career, I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment.

Blogs are hard work. Couches are far too comfortable and videogames are far too entertaining, which is why updating 3 to 5 days a week isn’t as easy as it looks or sounds, especially if you hold a full-time job. Remember you thought you’d be updating all the time? Shame on you.

Giveaways always help. Yes, it’s true, you can buy readers, and if you’re trying to start a business from your blog, it’s probably a great idea. The question bloggers needs to ask themselves is, what does my blog have to offer readers? Hopefully, there’s a number of things and if one of them is free shit, good for you. People love free shit. What does Corrupt Camel offer readers? Damned if I know, you’re the one reading it.

The reward for blogging usually doesn’t live up to your expectations. There are blogs pulling in lots of advertising money, but usually, as in my case, most blogs aren’t making a penny. On top of that, few people give you praise, and most readers never let you know they’re reading.  Clicking the ‘Like’ button on Facebook wasn’t hard when some girl you’ve met twice named Samantha updated her status to, “Having pickles for lunch!”, but when it means letting someone know you enjoyed their blog post, suddenly it’s harder than licking your elbow.  Bloggers need to develop thick skin.

In summary: Keep posting, and keep positive. Don’t blog because of the fame, fortune, and potential Perez Hilton status, but blog for the same reason you masturbate, because you like doing it.

Also, I’d like to give a shout out to the The Non-Review for featuring my blog as the Blog Pick of the Week for this week.  The Non-Review is one of my favorite blogs, and it’s updated daily. The Non-Review reviews anything from movies, actors, holiday mascots, nursery rhymes or even the local laundromat, and does it in the most hilarious ways possible. I highly recommend you give this site a look if you’d like to tickle your funny bone or if you don’t want to be killed by a flock of geese.

  • Thanks for the shout out man!
    Much appreciated.

    I feel your bloggity pain. Yes I said bloggity.
    It’s hard to keep a blog rolling for long unless you truly do like doing it.
    And readers… they be a finicky group. Yar. (apparently I’m feeling pirate-y today)

    • @TS Hendrik – Thankity for the comment on the bloggity my friend. I truly am impressed at your ability to update every single day, even on weekends. You are an inspiration to bloggers everywhere.

  • Crap. I’m screwed.

  • @Anna – I think you’re ok. Your yearbook blog post was pretty amazing.

  • Very nice post.

    Although I do write crap about myself … hopefully it’s funny because I’m making fun of myself?

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