Like many young lads I used to collect comics. Every weekend I’d scrape together my grass cutting money and take it to the local comic store to buy my monthly comics. Many, many years later I was invited to the 2010 Toronto Comic Con. Not something I’d usually attend, but I still have a soft spot for comics, and more importantly, it meant reuniting with an old friend, and for that it was well worth it.
This particular Comic Con taught me that this is where old wrestlers and hasbeens go to make some extra coin signing autographs and posing for pictures. It was sad. Really, really sad. Mainly because no one cared that The Million Dollar Man and Virgil were there. Nobody. If you’ve seen the movie The Wrestler, Comic Con showed just how accurate that portrayal was.
More than a few Ex-WWE Divas sat patiently, caked in make-up to cover up their age, waiting for fans to boost their deflating egos, demand pictures, and ogle at their fake tits spilling out of the top of their dresses. Again, no one cared.
The real spotlight of the Comic Con was the cosplay (short for “costume play”). Avid fans dressed as fictional characters and were more than happy to pose for a picture for free, unlike former WWF star, The Honky-Tonk Man, who charged $15 for a picture with him and $20 if you wanted the WWF (that’s right, WWF) belt on your shoulder. Sorry Honky-Tonk Man, $20 can buy me a pitcher of beer. Besides, I’d prefer a free picture with Cobra Commander thank you very much (psst, don’t tell Lady Jaye!).
B-list celebrity couple Christopher Knight (AKA Peter Brady from the Brady Bunch) and Playboy Playmate Adrianne Curry manned booths side by side at Comic Con. A big plus to the lovely Ms. Curry for allowing both me and my friend a picture with her for free as she donned a sexy Wonder Woman costume (Google her if you want to see her naked. It’s the first thing I did upon returning from Comic Con. Go ahead, no one’s watching). A minus to Mr. Knight, her husband, who pleaded with her to charge $25 for the photos (Google him if you want to see him naked. It’s the second thing I did upon returning from Comic Con. Go ahead, no one’s watching).
I think the tell-tale sign that a comic con isn’t that good is that the biggest attraction, and I kid you not, was Ernie (The Black Ghostbuster) Hudson. This may have been exciting if he too was wearing a wonder woman costume.
Like I said before, the best part of Toronto Comic Con, besides Adrianne Curry, was the fans. This guy’s Cobra Commander costume was stellar. His lady friend’s costume was pretty great too. I wonder if they use those costumers in the bedroom. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anything on Google this time.
I know there are better comic cons, but this one was a bust. A big, saggy, Ex-WWE Diva bust, but it was worth it. Good seeing you again, Earl.