Lady Gaga Loves Virgins


Maybe she doesn’t love them, but I’m sure she was okay with however much money Virgin Mobile paid to have their phone featured in her new video, Telephone. Bet you never thought Gaga and Virgin were two words that would be associated with each other. Oddly enough, the Miracle Whip placement seems appropriate. It’s not hard to imagine Gaga covered in mayo or something resembling it.

If you haven’t seen the new video featuring Beyonce, it’s over nine minutes of dancing, outfit changes, and product placements. Product placements so obvious it reminded me of the first Transformers movie, but without Megan Fox to distract me. Even worse, the YouTube video requires you to watch a commercial prior to viewing the already too long video. If we only had a Polaroid camera to capture the horrified look on my face.

Don’t worry Gaga fans, as usual, Gaga spends most of her time scantily clad with her legs wide open, and without the much needed bag on her head. But if you like creative outfits and hairdos made from cigarettes, police tape or cans, she doesn’t disappoint. Me? I’m too busy switching my phone service over to Virgin and eating WonderBread to be concerned with hairdos!

This video is over 9 minutes because it tries to convey some sort of epic story, while still managing to fit in product placements wherever possible. Try and count them as the video goes on. Maybe make a drinking game out of it! This unnecessary cut scenes are so idiotic I suggest arming yourself with an arsenal of groans and self-inflicted forehead smacks. Let’s just say it’s less Thriller and more Greedy Fly by Bush in terms of awesomeness. The good news is that the Pussy Wagon from the Kill Bill movie makes an appearance.

Oh, and Beyonce was in it.  She was. She sings and dances too! Can you believe it? It was nice to see the camera starved Beyonce getting some screen time, because I feel like we don’t see or hear about her enough. I was disappointed not to find Mylie Cyrus in the mix somewhere, especially when the USA outfits were donned for one of the closing dance numbers. I would have loved a little Party in the USA tie-in. That would be the greatest trio since Lucky Day, Dusty Bottoms, and Ned Nederlander teamed up in the 1986 masterpiece,  ¡Three Amigos!.

Despite my obvious disgust for the video, Pokerface and Bad Romance will live forever in my heart alongside Party in the USA as the three recent pop songs I can’t seem to shake out of my head. I still love you Gaga, team up with Mylie soon PLZ! LOLZ. *HUGZ*

Without further ado, here is the video.

What are your thoughts on the video? On Lady Gaga? On the product placements?

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