Why the Beard Reappeared: An Epic Adventure.

Commandeered the beard. Rewind two-years ago. After conquering Europe with a pack strapped to my back I realized I accomplished something more amazing than I ever thought I would or could.  Climbing the steps of the Eiffel Tower? Seeing the Sistine Chapel? Touching the remnants of the Berlin wall? No, no, and no. This was something much greater. A friend and I made a pact not to shave for the duration of the trip. A pact that made us men. Real men. The result, for me, was one incredibly patchy, yet beautiful beard. My friend and I? Well, our friendship, like our beards, grew by leaps and bounds by sharing in one of men’s greatest and oldest traditions. The growing of beards.

Jeered the beard. Insulting a beard is like insulting a man’s penis size. It challenges their manhood. With this in mind, some never attempt to grow a beard in fear his manhood will be challenged.

Feared the beard. Fear of failure and inadequacy can make our decisions for us.  Fear of not being able to grow an adequate beard is no different. But we never know unless we try. This is a fear we must overcome to reach our manliness potential.

Appeared the beard. Fast forward to one month ago, when I put down my razor and decided it was time to climb that hairy mountain again (no, I’m not talking about dating your mom). It was time to grow a beard. This time, I was going solo. I needed to learn more about myself and go through the trials and tribulations of beardness on my own. Over the course of this month long journey I’ve realized that unless you’re on a deserted island, you never go through the beard growing process on your own.

Cheered the beard. People  everywhere have been supporting and sponsoring my beard through its weakest stages. Morning meetings at work unexpectedly turned into a forum for the discussion of beards. Men shared their beard experiences with me over a cold beer and hot wings. Together we analyzed the strong and weak points of my beard and where it has been filling in nicely. Whenever I contemplated shaving, someone would tell me how beautifully it was coming along. If I could knit a sweater from my beard to thank everyone who helped me, I would.

Revered the beard.
On the streets, and out in the city, I’ve been appreciating the beards of others. Hoping one day my beard could be as strong as theirs.

Persevered the beard. So please join me in wishing my beard a happy 1-month beard-day, and wishing my beard and I a happy beard-iversary.

Sheared the beard? Where this relationship will end I don’t know and like any good fling, sometimes it’s best not to ask. When the time comes, I’ll know. We’ll know (my beard and me). But in the meantime, I know we won’t be alone. We’ll have each other.

Premiered the beard. I have no pictures of my beard today, but I’ll get some. Maybe we can compare it to my Europe beard and see if this one is better. Maybe that’s not fair to this beard though. Either way, it looks like my beard and I will be busy together all weekend.

Pioneered the beard. Did you ever wonder why wise men usually have beards? Grow a beard and you’ll find out. Did you ever wonder why people who have their heart broken, lose their jobs, or are homeless grow beards? It’s because when you have a beard you’re never alone. Never. You always have a friend giving you a big warm, fuzzy hug.

From my beard and I to you, happy Friday.

  • http://thenonreview.com TS Hendrik

    Oddly enough I always find I’m more creative when I let it grow out. I don’t know if it’s psychological or not. Samson in the biblical story had all his power in the length of his hair, beard included. Mighty warriors are always pictured with glorious beards. Maybe there is just something about it.

    I applaud your bearded efforts. You should make up shirts that read “Team Beard.”

    • http://www.corruptcamel.com C. Camel

      @TS Hendrik – Beard = wisdom and power. It’s true. I learned it in advanced mathematics. Also, the t-shirt idea is great. I’ve always wanted to come out with a line of funny t-shirts. Business proposition? ; )

  • RockinRuhul

    LMAO!!!

    happy 1 month beard day!! Don’t grow it too long though, unless you want birds nesting in your beard!

    • http://www.corruptcamel.com C. Camel

      @RockinRuhul – Why wouldn’t I want birds nesting in my beard? I suppose if they pooped in my beard I wouldn’t want that. Yes, perhaps I shouldn’t let it grow too long. Bird poop in my beard isn’t good for anyone.

  • http://thenonreview.com TS Hendrik

    I’d totally start a t-shirt business if it weren’t for the whole, perpetual broke thing. lol

    My favorite idea for a shirt: “SEE: Sarcasm”

    Maybe you should start a beard appreciation site?

    • http://www.corruptcamel.com C. Camel

      haha, or maybe a facial hair appreciation site in general. that’s actually not a bad idea. I could have a beard and mustache of the day. any ideas for the site name?

  • pubgirl29

    Mr Camel!!

    Where are you when I need you?
    It’s about Stephen Brunt of the Globe and Mail.
    CTV featured his hack essays on the Olympics. Really awful. Embarrassing.

    He does have a sort-of beard though so I hope it’s ok to post here.

    • http://www.corruptcamel.com C. Camel

      @pubgirl29 – I have no idea what you’re talking about, but it sounds dreadful. Grab yourself a Snapple. Everything will be okay.

  • http://witbehind.com Anna

    Big deal.

    I grow out my leg hair every year from September 1 to June 1. And let me just tell you, I make a hell of a man.

    So I’m wondering, *blush* if complimenting a man’s beard is anything like insulting it? Because I was about to tell you how I am sure that your beard looks just fine, but isn’t it still pretty much worthless?

  • http://www.corruptcamel.com C. Camel

    Hairy legs? That’s really, uh, gross. Hairy legs and a kickass beard are polar opposites on the awesome scale.

    Is something that makes you a god among men worthless? I think not.

    • http://witbehind.com Anna

      What? You don’t have hairy legs? Just when I was beginning to think you were pretty cute…

      • http://www.corruptcamel.com C. Camel

        Um, I’m a swimmer…Ya, that’s it.

  • http://FairfieldHouseNJ.com Fairfield House

    Thomas has a beard. A real man’s beard not a stupid ‘soul patch’ that just looks like you forgot to wipe your face after your last meal.

    • http://www.corruptcamel.com C. Camel

      Soul patches are just labels that say “asshole”

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