I Can Hear You Having Sex – *UPDATE*
C. Camel on Feb 5th 2010
So a while back you might recall me talking about overhearing my neighbors bumpin’ uglies through the paper thin wall of my apartment. This wall that we share is what divides their bedroom and my bedroom (if you didn’t read about that, you can find it here). Well, this has continued for a while and if I ever run into them in the hallway it’s going to be rather awkward. I feel like I know them a little better than I should, but that’s no surprise when I have the audio version of the two of them “banging” playing at various times throughout the day. It’s the disgusting soundtrack to my life.
Anyway, you know all this. I’m here to provide you with some new info.
Perhaps my neighbors were under the impression I’d grown tired of their mixed bag of pleasure sounds, because, as it turns out, they’ve added a new audible to their sexual repertoire: slapping. I assume one is slapping the other’s backside or they’re constantly congratulating each other with mid-sex high fives.
“Nice move, babe. Way to incorporate the ear! Up top!” *SLAP*
Who’s doing the slapping? Is it to the pleasure of the slapper or the slappee? Or both? Are these the kind of questions I want running through my mind before I fall asleep? Nope.
But like I said before, good on them. Besides, if one of them has a blog it probably says the exact same thing about the neighbors they share a bedroom wall with (how funny would that be?). Maybe it’s time to invite them over for dinner and a few bottles of wine. We could remove the borders provided by the paper thin wall and live as one (slap) happy family creating a fuller, richer, orchestral sound for everyone else living on our floor…Or maybe I’ll just turn the fan on a higher setting.
Have a great weekend.
Filed in WTF?
Because of you, the next time I’m having sex with the dude I’m totally going to stop mid-coitus and yell, “Up top, Chris! Great game tonight!” and high-five him.
@Jez – You really, really should. Then tweet his response. I’m betting it will be hilarious.
So they put the hit back in “hit that?”
Oh, how embarrassing, you can hear us..I MEAN THEM slapping each other with rubber chickens. Gosh.
@Malackey – haha, maybe their blog is X-rated and they’re just playing up the slapping for the camera. I’m scouring the internet right now to confirm this.
@TS Hendrik – It’s about time someone did. Kudos to them.
ROLMAO! Only because I was soooo wondering what was going on with your neighbors!!!! Thanks for the update! *HIGH FIVE*