The Ideal Age

At least once in your life, most likely after watching a vampire flick or a movie involving a fountain of youth, you will ask yourself and your friends what the ideal age is. What age would you like to remain forever?

Popular answers are usually in the 20s and that’s understandable. Our 20s are when we’re young and vital. Our physical peak. Before the wrinkles, sagging, and the gut your wife says is cute or your husband says you don’t have (they’re lying). Some might say early 20s, but I’m not sure people will take someone so fresh faced seriously. I’m thinking more mid to late 20s.

I think I’ve figured out my ideal age. You see, every so often I decide to try to grow a beard. I’m not horrible at it, but I’m no Abe Lincoln (oddly, that’s the first bearded guy that comes to mind). Let’s just say my beard is a little patchy in spots. A few puzzle pieces are missing. I see myself in the mirror and think, until I can fill in those voids, my life is incomplete. But every time I try to grow it, it’s a little less patchy than the time before. So I decided yesterday, the age I’d like to stay forever is the age when I can grow a full and beautiful beard. My life will be nearly complete. It’s on my life’s to-do list right after writing a bestselling novel.

For those of you who could grow a full beard by the age of 12, what do we call you, oh yes, Italians, your ideal age might be a little harder to figure out. Maybe the age before your back hair got out of hand. I kid, I kid. I’m just jealous of your full beard.

For those men who can’t grow a beard and will never be able to (i.e. lesser men), at least you don’t have to shave everyday. That’s a plus isn’t it, champ?

For women, it’s much more difficult and probably not shaving related. Unless it was when you could properly shave a lightning bolt into your … Nevermind.

So my question to you is: what would your ideal age be and why?

  • As long as I can keep the knowledge I have now, I’d be happy being 23 forever – I was skinny back then. However, if I had to ‘redo’ an age, you couldn’t convince me to go back a minute from now. I made an awful mess of my 20’s and wouldn’t go back to that for anything.

    On the topic of beards, you and my brother should have a beard growing contest. There would never be a winner.

  • Miss Renee P

    I think the ideal age is mid thirties you don’t looking like you were just in diapers & you still don’t have the sagging boobs and wrinkles. Your husband still cares to suck that gut in when you walk by and he doesn’t quiet look like Santa Claus! (Personal experience) Men still think you are sexy and not their mom! Don’t get me wrong. I still feel sexy! I am flattered when the young kids at school think I am not much older than them and I always laugh when 18-21 year olds want do the “I’m better than you routine.”
    Now that I am am approaching my *coughs* mid forties I wonder did I miss something as I look for the anti-wrinkle creams & hair dyes. It might seem that I am unhappy, not get me wrong I love my kids & husband… But I can’t help think is there more out there?????

  • Lesser man, huh.

    I guess my ideal age will be 42. That’s when I will be able to grow a full beard 😛 I kinda like not having to shave everyday. It’s nice to not have that extra thing to do in the morning since I’m always late for work 😛

  • RockinRuhul

    hmm…good question!

    My ideal age would probably be in my mid to higher twenties. When people start taking you seriously, you tend to have a full time job and hopefully figure yourself out.

    All i know is that i’m happy with my age now (25). If had a choice to go back to a year in my life for one day, I would probably choose the age when nothing was a worry , which was probably when I was 6-10 years old. My days consisted of playing my nintendo, going outside and having dinner made for me every night! If i did have any stress in my life, it would have been a worry if a boy liked me in class, how to defeat my next nintendo game and where to hang my next boy band poster up… and yes…I was a Teeny Bopper back then….

  • @malackey – I wouldn’t redo an age either. The things that were novel and exciting before aren’t novel and exciting anymore. Been there, done that.

    I think I can take your brother in a beard growing contest.

    @miss Renee P – Interesting – mid thirties. I like that. As for thinking there’s more out there – there just might be. I’m always thinking the same thing, and it’s that thought that motivates you to keep looking for something else. Maybe you’re due for a new hobby or an adventurous trip.

    @Czech_Boy – I like having stubble, but I don’t like having to shave my overactive mustache every morning. At 42, if you’re like your old man, you might just have the best beard of all of us.

    @RockinRuhul – Yes, I too often couldn’t decide where to hang my boy band posters up. Try hanging it on the ceiling directly above your bed. That’s where my NKOTB poster is.

  • hadje

    the ideal age is when nobody gives a ff where you’ve gone, what you’re doing,………no reporting in!

  • @Hadje hmmm, I think the age you’re referring to is when you move out on your own, but then it disappears when you’re in a relationship and get married, then reappears when your spouse dies before you. So, pick one of those limbo periods and rock on.

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