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The majority of people in this world are not punctual and when you have two people together it becomes even more difficult to depart on time. But you might not be the person who is bringing the duo down. You’re not the one who can’t decide on an outfit or can’t get your hair just right. It’s them. Oh yes, they’re bringing you down at every special occasion or time dependent get together.

By “them” I’m not specifically referring to ladies as the late ones. I’ve seen some men who (are disgraceful to all men) spend just as much time on their hair and clothing choices. These steps can apply to both men and women, but have only been tested on women.

People tend to be late by the same amount of time every time. It’s crucial to find this time. It might be 15 minutes or half an hour. If it’s an hour or more, God help you. The reason they’re always this late is because they don’t get into panic mode until it’s already overtime. Find out when their panic mode starts. The best way to describe panic mode is to think of when you were in school, the day before an assignment was due. You stayed up till 5AM to get the assignment done when you were given month to do it. Why didn’t you do it before the last day? Easy, you needed to be in panic mode. Tardy people don’t get their act together till it’s too late. Their panic mode doesn’t kick in early enough.

Before I lay out the necessary steps of induced punctuality, you must realize tardy people are usually so busy slowly getting ready or avoiding getting ready they will take your word for almost anything. Exploit this.

Step 1. Have them lay out their outfit and accessories the day before. Believe it or not, girls like to do this and sometimes only need it to be suggested. If they don’t like to do this, suggest you both lay out your clothes. Couples like to do things together. This step isn’t enough, because now they’re even more lax the next day and will doddle knowing they’ve already completed something. That’s where the rest of the steps come in.

Step 2. Adjust the departure and arrival time. Set the ETD and ETA earlier than they need to be (e.g. if you want to leave at noon, tell them you need to leave at 11:30AM). Do this the day before. Warning: if they question your departure and/or arrival time make up a lie about expected traffic or bad weather.

Note: This step works especially well for road trips with friends. Tell them your departure time is an hour ahead of when you actually want to leave because you can always count on people being late.

Step 3. Get them ahead of schedule without them knowing it. Do this by setting the alarm earlier than planned. This might involve changing the clock(s), but if it works, they’re going to be ‘X’ minutes ahead of schedule without knowing it. The key is they cannot know they are ahead of schedule. Step 4 explains why.

Step 4. Induce panic mode. This is the most crucial step, because without panic mode the doing of hair or makeup can take 5 times as long with little to no difference in your partner’s appearance. It is important not to have any clocks visible where they’re doing their hair or makeup. Usually this is done in the bathroom, so that helps. When it’s time for them to do their makeup or hair tell them (with panic in your voice) it’s 15 minutes later than it really is or you have to leave fifteen minutes sooner than you actually need to. Like I said, they’ll take your word for it. This comment will send them into a frenzy. In panic mode it will appear as if they’re on speed or PEDs. You’ve got them moving like they’re already late, but, really, you’re well ahead of schedule. Do a celebratory fist pump.

At the end of these steps you’ll notice you’re leaving later than the fake departure time you gave them, but earlier than the actual departure time. So they think they’re late, but they’re not. However, if you notice they’re still running behind, increase the panic in your voice. Panic is contagious! “Quick! Hurry! Come on, come on!”

Also, try to give them options. People who are late are often poor at prioritizing. Some things can be done later. For example, they can do their makeup in the bathroom at the event, or apply their lipstick in the car.

If you fail.You can’t win them all. There’s a point where you might realize you’re not going to be on time. Pour yourself a drink and get comfortable. It’s not the end of the world.

BONUS Step. If you leave on time. Praise them for getting ready so quickly. After lying to your better half about the time and your schedule, it’s not a bad idea to let them know how much you appreciate their effort. Tell them they look great (they probably do). If they question you about the time, point out you only did it to make sure you left on time, and also point out if you hadn’t you’d probably be running late. Do this sincerely, but gently and throw in an apology. They’re usually so relieved they’re on time they’ll forgive you. Also, this reinforces the behavior and you’ll notice that in no time, your better half is punctual without these trick. Who knew!?!

If you have a friend who is always late for things because of their partner, send over this link. Do them a favor. Compare results and leave an anonymous comment. Cheers.
Note – My girlfriend is very punctual now (and always super cool) which is why I’m confident posting this won’t lead to my early demise. If you don’t hear from me for a while, you’ll know I was wrong. She cared. I did it all for you guys. No, the picture is not her.

Tags: boyfriend, girlfriend, late, punctual, tardy