You Must Leave a Message After the Beep

My problem is with people who leave a message that’s one sound – *click*. Before you pick up the phone to call someone, decide if you want to leave a message. Don’t wait for the beep before you hang-up.  That *click* sound makes me want to punch inanimate objects hard enough so that I hurt my hand, get mad at that object, hit it again, and then have a sore hand.

If you’re thinking, what’s the big deal? Just erase it. <– Screw you.

On my cellphone I have to call my voicemail, enter a 4 digit passcode, listen to the phone company’s recorded message to tell me I have 3 new messages, then I have to hit ‘1’ twice in order to listen to my unheard messages, and then, and then, and then!!! I have to hear the sound of someone hanging up because they lost their nerve at the last minute. This process takes up to 3 minutes. 3 minutes of my life wasted because you don’t have the balls to say, “Hey, it’s Jim. Give me a call back.” or “Hi, it’s Barbara. Drinks at 7pm. See you there.”

What’s worse, is when they call back and leave the same hang-up message. Undeniable proof of their stupidity. When the prerecorded message came on informing them to “leave a message after the beep” were they so surprised they were rendered speechless?

My voicemail can only hold 5 messages. I’m not a drug dealer or a pimp, that should be enough. But sometimes 5 messages is not enough because when some moron leaves a non-message they are taking up room for a real message that can be left by someone who has a real brain.

If you’re thinking, if you answered your phone, maybe your messages wouldn’t get backed up. <– You are really pissing me off. What is your problem!?!

Sometimes I’m on the subway, sometimes I don’t hear the phone,sometimes I’m at a place where having your ringer on isn’t polite (like the movies), or maybe I’m screening my calls from people who don’t understand the simple concept of hanging up before the beep or leaving a message after said beep.

So if you phone me, leave a message if you get past the beep. Anything. Even if it’s just your name or a funny word like, “booger”. At least I can get a laugh out of it.

Thanks for your time.

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