3 Reasons Why Men Don’t Take Baths

Just like women, men grow up taking baths as kids. So why don’t men take baths when they become adults?

I’m sure there are hundreds of reasons. Here are 3.

3. Most men are too big for most tubs. I’m 6″3. I get squished and usually have something jabbing me somewhere it shouldn’t be jabbing me. It’s very uncomfortable and I feel ridiculous.

2. Men are dirty. We’re dirtier than most women because we’re usually larger and hairier. If you’re a large, hairy woman I offer you my sincere apologies (for a few reasons). Hair holds sweat, grease and dirt and you can imagine what ass hair is holding on to. On top of that, the only time men consider taking baths is when they’re too sore to shower, and that’s most likely after sports or manual labor; when we’re at our dirtiest. Ten minutes of sitting in that cauldron and the water is green. It’s disgusting.

1. We don’t have toys anymore. Baths were fun growing up because the above reasons didn’t apply: we weren’t too big, and weren’t nearly as dirty and hairy as we are now. Furthermore, we had GI Joes. The ongoing battle between Snake Eyes and the cloth monster that lived beneath the bubbly swamp was epic.

So in summary, if I were sore, had a jacuzzi, showered beforehand, had my GI Joes and an especially evil cloth, I’d take a bath for sure. Until then, no dice.

  • Miss Renee P

    Hmm….. Hairy butt? lol So are you saying if we buy you all toys & make bigger tubs you might take a baths???

  • RockinRuhul

    haha Camel.
    Also, men are very lazy to prepare the actual bath. I’m sure if the bath was washed and all ready for you with bubbles and all, you would happily jump in! And of course if the bath was big enough to hold bigfoot!
    Also, You reminded me of the time when I was a kid and loved to play with my barbies in the bathtub. There was no cloth monster unfortunaltey, my play was not as violent as yours!!!

  • lilbuggy

    my hubby takes baths… : /

  • @Miss Renee P – Sure, ship some GI Joes over this way!

    @RockinRuhul – I suppose one could be coaxed into a tub after a long day of chopping wood (that’s what men do, right?)

    @lilbuggy – Good for him! Tell him I’ll trade him Duke for Cobra Commander.

  • All good points! haha Love this post!

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