How to Make New Year’s Eve Fun

New Year’s Eve is a crapshoot. It’s the biggest crapshoot of the whole year and because it’s a crapshoot many people are soured on New Year’s Eve and say, “Fuck it, I’m staying home with my cat and watching the second season of Perfect Strangers.”

Don’t be like them. Those people are depressing. They’re the same people who don’t want to celebrate their birthdays. They’re the people that will grow up to be old and bitter because of missed opportunities. Take a chance. Once, being too young to get into bars, we went downtown to Harbourfront in Toronto. It was completely spur of the moment and I was sure it would be a boring night. We drank alcohol from plastic bottles and ended up on a beach with thousands of drunk people watching fireworks. It was incredible. One of my favorite NYEs ever.

Ok, while NYE can be a horribly disappointing night, it also holds the potential to be one of the best nights of the year. In fact, I can remember more NYEs (for better or for worse) than I can most any other day of the year throughout my lifetime.

Through these ups and downs I’ve discovered there are three factors that must be taken into consideration in order to make NYE more enjoyable.

Location is the factor most people focus on, but it’s not the most important factor. I’ve had great and terrible NYEs at bars, clubs, and house parties. So there is no guarantee any will be fun. If you’re going to a club or bar, try to pick one with good service and good music. Good service is paramount. I once spent NYE fairly sober because the male bartender was only serving people with boobs. NYE sober, in my opinion, is boring. Thanks barkeep. Asshole.

Bigger bars are not always better and because an ad says it’s the best party in town it doesn’t mean it is. Remember, temporary bar friends can make a night extra memorable. Don’t be shy. If you’re single, it’s a toss up, because bigger bars provide more opportunities to hook up, but smaller bars provide a more intimate setting so it’s easier to develop a bond with a particular person. If you’re better at picking up with words than with dancing, maybe the smaller bar is better for you. Unfortunately, clubs and bars are a complete crapshoot. Flip a coin. Good luck.

I prefer the house party because it’s most likely filled with people you already know. You save money on booze and can get it a lot faster.  The house party allows you to meet people who are the friends of people you know. This gives you an icebreaker right away which is good for meeting new friends, or if you’re single, meeting new mates. Besides, bars are often too loud to hear anyone speak and are too crowded to move. If you don’t know the person throwing the party have a backup plan. The party could be terrible.

Your choice of alcohol is so important on this night. Keep in mind you will be drinking champagne (or sparkling wine) at midnight and will most likely be offered some kind of shot. Also keep in mind that NYE is not a normal night. On a normal nights your drinking usually peaks and then tapers off as the night progresses. But on NYE, the party gets refreshed at midnight and drinking climbs towards another peak. With this in mind, make sure you’re drunk before midnight, but you’re not stumbling all over the place. Because if you are, you’ll be spending New Year’s Day in front of the toilet. I had a two day hangover last year. Great time though. Two of your best friends getting married at a hotel with an open bar is something you must experience.

This year I’m drinking beer because a beer is a beer every time I get one from the fridge, but a mixed drink magically gets stronger as the night goes on. I’m sure I’ll have a few shots too. It’s unavoidable, just like a New Year’s Day hangover.

This is the most important of the three factors by far. This is what you should focus on.

If you are surrounded by your best friends, it’s hard not to have a good time. So whether you go to a bar, or a club, or a house party, make sure your friends are there too. It makes all the difference in the world.

Diffusing the Bomb
Single people can attest to this. The years they have someone to kiss at midnight are usually better than other New Year’s. At a busy Montreal club, I danced with a girl seconds before midnight, and when the clock struck 12 we kissed and that was that. We didn’t talk, or grope or anything. Just the kiss. If only all single people had the same unspoken agreement on NYE.

There is no other day of the year where hooking up holds so much importance. The impending countdown imposes a panic to find someone before night’s end. It’s like diffusing a bomb. If you fail you watch as nearly everyone else kisses someone and then you scan the crowd to find someone else who has also failed to cut the right wires and try to get yourself a post midnight smooch (who says “smooch” anymore?). If you succeed it can be quite  gratifying. You may not have saved any lives, but you probably saved your night. Also, don’t be afraid to be a little more bold than usual on NYE. Both guys and girls are looking to find someone to pair up with and often times, because people want to diffuse the bomb ASAP it’s the one who is most persistent who gets the kiss and not necessarily the best candidate. There’s no justice in this world, I know.

If you have a significant other, there is no bomb diffusing and no panic. There is far less pressure on NYE all together. Sit back, relax, and try not to get into a fight before midnight. The house party seems to be the best bet in this case, but if you’re a clubbing couple, you know where you should be.

The only way I can guarantee a great NYE is to be in an exotic location. Fiji, Bahamas, Hawaii, Paris, etc. So if you’re not overflowing with money, get ready for what could be a great or terrible night. Just make sure you keep an open mind. Like I said, NYE is a crapshoot. Best of luck tonight folks.

Also, I’d like to thanks everyone who follows this website. December was CorruptCamel’s best month since I started it in March. I don’t make any money for doing this, but I do get a ton of satisfaction from hearing that people enjoy it. So leave some comments, tell some friends, retweet the posts on Twitter, become a fan of the site on Facebook. It means a lot to me.

Happy 2010 folks.

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