In the stats page of my website, I’m able to view the search engine terms people typed in order to find my website. For example if you typed “corrupt camel” in Google to find the site, it would tell me that. The stat page looks like this:
Below are some of the more bizarre ones. These are all real and help illustrate how fucked up the human mind is sometimes. My comments are in italics.
romanian singer mustache
country music mustache – creating the image that mustaches are for rednecks. They’re not.
moustache growers – are better than you are.
i have tiny warts on my mustache – that’s disgusting.
wart on my mustache – how common is this wart on mustache phenomenon?
what about mustaches? – A new talk show hosted by porn star, Ron Jeremy.
what is a mustache – The most beautiful thing on Earth.
man growing mustache – is a smart man.
sweet mustaches – sweet like hairy candy…Gross.
lady mustaches are beautiful – Searcher must be Eastern European.
jesus moustache – It wasn’t Jesus who performed miracles, it was his mustache.
how to grow big mustache – sing to it everyday.
how to grow a beautiful moustache – see above.
growing selleck mustache – A combo of the 2 searches above.
things you can do with a mustache – Anything.
ian white no mustache – A bloody shame.
moustache percent of men – Not high enough.
talking about mustaches – A rival talk show hosted by Tom Selleck
what is underwear? – Your old enough to know how to type and you don’t know?
laundry day underwear – Someone who understands Emergency Underwear.
raptor underwear – Like this?
can underwear be too tight – If you value your testicles, yes.
tight boxer – Why are you looking for the tight ones? See above.
underwear disasters - Number threes can lead to this.
gag underwear, “toronto”, on -
disposable knickers wedgies – I’ve never had disposable underwear, but apparently they give you wedgies.
shakira wedgie – They’re the worst kind.
shakira porn – They must have been terribly disappointed to have found my site.
“shakira’s hips lied” to me – They lied to the world. Including your Aunty Barbara.
hips do lie – Told you.
shakira camel – A camel that can dance?
truth behind shakira – She has a wedgie in a porn movie featuring a camel and you shouldn’t believe what her hips say.
watchmen porn gay
watchmen gay porn – Conclusion: many people who love graphic novels are gay.
no dog designation
youtube i guy and i cup – I Googled this and it looks gross. Not safe for work, but if you’re bored – click here.
megan fox camel toe – My guess is this search term will happen A LOT.
taco camel.com – I Googled this and found a song. Check out the lyrics.
is number 3 diarrhea – It is now. Check the news!