Ok, so maybe that title is misleading because, technically, Tahiti (or Tahitian) Treat is not back. I’ve been searching high and low around Toronto for a long time with no results. It cannot be found here, which is the main reason tourism is down, our sports teams are awful, and why this will never be a world class city. So anyway, I said, “Fuck it,” and decided to find something that might resemble Tahiti Treat.
The first suggestion on a replacement was from my brother, who recommended I try Fanta Red Tangerine. Although it was no bottle of hobo urine, and actually quite delicious, it was not Tahiti Treat. Tasted more like a creamsicle.
Recently, another friend who knew of my love for Tahiti Treat recommended Rockstar Punched (not to be mistaken with the pomegranate flavor, which tastes like strained garbage water with fizz). One sip of Punched revealed my search for a Tahiti Treat replacement was over and holy shit, it’s filled with an addictive amount of caffeine, just what I need for an all night Quantum Leap marathon. Happy drinking!