Polygraph Test Confirms Shakira’s Hips DO Lie

Hips ignore commandment - Thou Shalt not Lie
Hips Ignore Commandment - "Thou Shalt Not Lie"

In a shocking revelation that has shaken the entertainment industry, a CNN lie detector test suggests Shakira’s hips do lie, and quite often at that. This revelation, a response to the hit song by Shakira – Hips Don’t Lie.

The Columbian born singer/songwriter and her hips were not available for comment, but her publicist, Sally Martinez, insists the tests do, “have room for a slight margin of error,” and went on to plead to Shakira fans to, “have faith in Shakira and her hips. They just weren’t on tonight.”

Questions about whether Shakira’s hips were truthful or not were first brought up when her hips were interviewed by People magazine. They denied any frustrations stemming from being overlooked as the reason  behind Shakira’s successful career.

“Clearly, her hips were not happy. You think people like Shakira for her voice?” People magazine writer Jay Hawkesbury asked. “Her singing sounds like a cross between a boy hitting puberty and a Muppet. Her hips are pissed off at the lack of recognition and I don’t think we need a polygraph to determine that.”

When accusations arose following the People magazine interview, Shakira’s hips were quick to demand a lie detector test, a move most say could sink the pop star’s hips career. The test was performed live on CNN.

Shakira's Hips to Nicholson - "You can't handle the truth!"
Shakira's Hips to Nicholson - "You can't handle the truth!"

The polygraph determined Shakira’s hips lied when they said no when asked whether they felt responsible for Shakira’s success. Clearly, Shakira’s hips feel they play a larger role in Shakira’s booming career.

Other results suggest Shakira’s hips were lying when they claimed they preferred Pepsi over Coke. Marketing experts agree, this could lead fans of Shakira’s hips to boycott the cola product.

When the results were revealed on live television, Shakira’s hips got up and left, taking Shakira with them.  Rumors say Shakira plans on releasing a song on her new album called, Hips Do Lie, in order to cash in on the publicity.

As a final note, Shakira hips did not lie about everything. When asked, “Are headlines often funnier than the actual article?” and Shakira’s Hips said, “Yes,” they were telling the truth.

  • M. Dunham

    Dave, if you wrote this – LOL!

  • Jenelephant Acewell

    I think I can get past the lying…But it’s when that butt whispers sweet nothings! That’s what I’m worried about – know what I’m sayin’!

  • Thanks Marisol. There are just some things that need to be shared with the world.

    Ms. Acewell – is a butt whispering sweet nothings just a euphemism for a silent fart? If so, my butt’s been whispering sweet nothings and yelling terms of endearment all morning.

  • Hadje

    New to your site.
    Maybe some probiotic yogurt ??

    • Probiotic yogurt is a scam perpetrated by the government. So you might say I’m anti probiotic yogurt…You might not though, it’s up to you.

  • Hadje

    Isn’t life a scam perped by the Illuminati?

    Although, on its own recognisance yogurt is bacteria-ful blech

  • I don’t think it’s safe to talk about this unsecured lines. Call me at the payphone at College and Spadina at 7:49 PM. The code phrase is “Rock Lobster.”

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